A look back at 1998-99 Championship season. Who remembers the magical #1 line of Obus, Kid, Mac (39 G, 41 A, 44 PIMs)? The number 2 line anchored by Rosie and Dino (and Marks) were no slouches either (29 G, 30 A, 26 PIMs). Shout outs to the D (Fraser, Lemon, Gordie, Marsella, & Merrill) for putting up with Aprilie's shit in the net. Back then Longshore anchored the "checking" line...how times have changed.

I'm telling you 2006 is Longshore's year!!!

A taste of Glory past to help guide us on Sunday.

9/25/2006: Pigs Advance in Round 1; Vitts gets hit

No it wasn't the Hanson brothers from Slap Shot but it was Pigs playoff Hockey. A fired up Pigs squad sodomized (this was Mangler’s choice of words not mine) the visiting Black Dogs 10-2 Sunday night to advance to the second round. Outside of the lopsided score, things were low key until 10:37 into the 3rd period when Black Ice #27 took a two handed tomahawk stick chop to the back of newly dubbed “butter balls” Vits’ head. “I told him to hit me however I was expecting him to drop the gloves." Vitts seemed fine after the game and cheerfully told the squad tales from last weekends bachelor party complete with guys jumping off 2nd story balconies, taking local strippers to the wedding as dates, and defacating in his buddies hotel bed as a prank. While none of that came off as looney the following picture surfaced earlier this morning.

Click Me!!!

Not wanting to jeopardize round two the team Elders briefly met this morning and decided to have Vitts committed. He is expected to make a full recovery and start Sunday night.

9/19/2006: Regular Season Ends; Fraser in Drag

What you need to know:

Pigs clubhouse a 13-4 record and enter the playoffs as the #2 team. With Fraser out of the game and recuperating from a severe RPG recoil head injury he received last week at the hands of the Al Quida taliban tribesmen in Afghanistan, Rookie T-Mac got the starting call at RW. This was just his 3rd start since turning 21 and the rookie took advantage of the ice time scoring a pair of goals including a bitch slap tally with: 11 seconds to play. “I’ve carried a lot of clipboards for some great forwards awaiting my chance to start, but Fraser is my hero…looks at that ass!” As a starter before this game he had recorded 12 goals and 5 assists.

The Pig’s defensive game appears to be on track heading into the playoffs. Jeff was his usual dominating self between the pipes, plucking pucks from an aggressive Black Ice squad finishing with 27 saves and recording his 11th win.

What you ought to know:

Longshore: 15 GP, 19 G, 11 A, 30 Pts, 8 PIMs: Damn…who is this guy? Longshore hasn’t been this productive since the 1984 air guitar championship where his Eddie Van Halen “Panama” routine was good enough for 2nd place. Well done.

Pittsberg Justin: 9 GP, 11 G, 7 A, 18 Pts, 0 PIMs: Forget the Byng this guy is hands down a PPG monster (2.00). If we could just get him to show up more often and bring beer once in while our GM may hook him up with a HAG.

Pipes: 15 GP, .904 SV%, 2.53 GAA, 11 W, 1 SHO: All career bests. In his spare time he clandestinely rallied against Ahmadinejad in NYC after the game. In short a modern Resonance man.

Sept 13, 2006

The Pigs win their 4th in a row while Harvard sat silent as Khatami defended the execution of homosexuals (Mangler: at this time the Metrosexual lifestyle is not subject to these harsh penalties). "A win is a win yet I can't beleive we pander to Iran and their 7th century approach to life" a passionate and alarmed Team Captain Mac commented after the game. "I care about the gays for sure but what about the Jews...President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has gone on record denying the Holocaust and calling for the extermination of all Jews" piped in Goalie Jeff. "We care about ex-coach Greenspan's safety" he continued. "Uhh he's not Jewish dude but he is a lawyer" one unidentified Pig corrected. "We play for Human Rights from here on out...we play for the women, the children, metrosexuals, and all the oppressed...especially oppressed Hot Asian women" elder Mangler concluded.

Good win and good post game discussion boys!

Labor Day (Sept 1, 2006)

Labor Day came early this year as the Pigs were only able to start the game fielding 6 skaters against the Edge last night in Oakland. In the locker room moments before the game Mac uttered “WWGD?” (what would Greenie do?). Herrick reflecting fondly on short handed games past quickly responded with “why a 1-4” formation. “Where the f*&% is Tall Mother F%&%ing Gary, Peter, & Pittsberg?” snorted the Kid. Mangler reports in that Peter called an hour ago with his regrets, no word from the rest. “Well Dino will be here shortly so we should have 7, Mangler…Lemon….you fellas will be manning the blue line ‘iron man’ style until reinforcements arrive…fuck Greenie” General Mac called out. This left the Kid, Longshore, Herrick and Mac to produce up front. Mac figured with Jeff manning the Pipes all would be well. And all was well. Pigs came out strong exiting the 1st period up 2-0 thanks to gritty goals from Mac and Longshore. With the arrival of Dino, the Kid slots back to Defense to help out the Jack, Lemon, and Pipes. After 2 periods Pigs lead it 4-2 thanks to a solid passing and opportunity game. In the third a sweet pass from Lemon to Longshore made it 5-2 and the Mangler “knuckled” one to close things out for a 6-3 final. Yes Labor day came early this year. To all the Pigs who didn’t show up last night have a great Labor Day weekend. To the brave 8 who did this Buds for you! See you all on 9/12.