Wednesday, January 31, 2007

1/31/2007: Pigs Support Small Canadian Town Policy

In a split decision Pig Elders voted 2-1 to support Herouxville's "That's Enough Already" immigration integration policy. The majority Pig opinion was sympathetic to the Quebecers loss of the Nordiques and felt they should have somthing to call their own. "For Christs sake give em' a policy or two" one Elder cried out during the heated session. One Pig elder felt killing women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, etc. was ok if the woman deserved it.

Monday, January 29, 2007

1/28/2007: Piglet Power; “Gumper” dead at 77

The Pig Nation showed in force Sunday night to witness the Pigs skate to 5-5 tie against the West Coast Whalers. Down by a goal with only 1:09 left to play Coach McClure signals Pipes to come off the ice for an extra man advantage. Twenty four seconds later Rosie buries one to knot things up and that’s how we left it. “I saw my 8 year old daughter Kate signaling me to call a time out and regroup” recalled Mac after the game. “She calls the shots you know.” Later she was overheard telling her dad “…it’s time to go…I’ve got school tomorrow…I’ll be waiting in the car.” The McClure clan was seen leaving shortly thereafter.





Other notables:

*Dino records his 2nd hat trick in as many weeks
*Papi plays in a t-shirt in lieu of Jersey…get’s warning from the stripes.
*13 Piglets and tons of spousal support from the Pig Nation
*T-mac barred from Piglet photo for use of profanity
*Mrs Longshore eats the pavement and pays with an ounce of flesh
*KRose cooks Casper’s for all
*Mangler vows to use the 200% pass up the middle rule. In an act of solidarity Lemon takes the same vow. (See section 8, rule 9 in Papi's Corner link)
*Gumper dead at 77

Thursday, January 25, 2007

1/23/2007: Pigs Dominate as Iran Taunts the US and Israel; Chili dogs take their toll

While Dino was busy recording a hat trick in the Pigs 7-3 win over the PBR squad, Iranian leader Ahmadinejad “assured that the United States and the Zionist regime of Israel will soon come to the end of their lives." Pig scholar and goal tender Jeff who saved 12 of 15 shots on net briefly commented “there is no way that 2nd goal was a goal and there is no way the current conflict between the Shiites and Sunnis is a Zionist/US plot to dominate the region. It’s total malarky.” Ex Canadian patriot Tall MF Gary had this to say: “F*&^ the Iranians, f*&^ the Shiites, F*&^% the Sunnis…they don’t play hockey, they don’t drink beer…they are dead to me.” There was no comment from Ahmadinejad regarding Canada’s impending Armageddon.

It’s now day 2 after Longshore’s pickup truck style chili dogs…I’m all out of clean underwear.
1/16/2007: Chickens, Prairie Dogs and Pigs

Pigs post an 8-5 win over the Praire Dogs behind 11 pts from the duo of T and P Mac. With Family night rapidly approaching (1/28) the team has requested an encore presentation of Papi’s “Chicken” story for the wives and kids. Papi to bring a live chicken for demonstration purposes.

Friday, January 12, 2007

1/11/2007: Hot Score Keeper gives Pigs a “win” despite a 4-1 loss; Canadians prefer to drink beer indoors

Was it the “Chip and Flow” or the five defensemen set that carried the Pigs to a 4-1 loss late Thursday night? “All I know is the McDonald pair kept trying to get back in the penalty box to see the scorekeeper” said Captain McClure after the game. T mac was the first to stur things up on and off the ice. After his first trip to the box he could hardly wait to get back. “She’s kinda ‘butta’ T mac explained…everything’s good but her face.” Papi really showed his prowess not only by scoring the Pigs lone goal but also by scoring huge points becoming the score keeper’s favorite. “Sweetie you need to push that button right there to start the clock” Papi explained after about 30 seconds of his penalty expired yet the darling scorekeeper forgot to run the clock. Kid and Gracie did everything possible to get her attention however after that she was smitten for Papi. Even T mac made one more attempt to secure a few more minutes of alone time with the beauty yet was tossed for fighting. When the final horn sounded the Pigs fell to the Mavericks 4-1. After reviewing the score sheet this AM it looks like Papi’s charismatic ways with the scorekeeper paid off and it appears the Pigs were recorded as the 4-1 winners. So that’s the ole “Chip & Flow”. Nice work Papi.

Beer news: Canadians prefer to drink beer indoors while American’s like the outdoors says a group of researchers in Oakland, CA. A scientific study was conducted using beer league hockey players. Conditions were set with equally attractive alcoholic beverages available both indoors and outdoors. The indoor ambient temperate was controlled to a brisk 55 degrees F while the outdoor conditions were much more harsh at about 33 degrees F. Five of Six beer drinking Americans chose the much harsher outdoor scene while three of three Canadians selected the protected indoor environment to consume their brew. Several subjects chose to opt out of this study for fear their identities would be discovered by devoted loved ones.




An unidentifed indoor beer drinking American



A few of the more rugged oudoor beer drinking types

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

1/2/2007 Fast Eddy “hassled” by Oakland PD; Pigs win behind strong offensive defense

A dark cloud was cast over the downtown Oakland ice scene before the game as long time Pig supporter and panhandler “Fast Eddy” was rousted by Oakland PD for allegedly selling parking spots to hockey fans trying to get in to see the Pigs game. Eddy was visibly shaken after the incident but stuck around to see the Pigs win. Ed had this to say when questioned about the incident, “Naw…you guys know I’d never do that…hey you got some money so I can get a place to stay tonight?” Since 2005 the Pigs have instituted a strict “Greenspan” policy of not encouraging Ed’s panhandling. There are early reports that this policy was violated last night. An investigation is underway and violators will be dealt with appropriately and privately.

The Pigs were able to put all this drama aside and come away with a 4-3 win over the Bulldogs. The win was fueled largely by aggressive defensive play from the Lemon/Mangler tandem (1 goal, 3 assists). The game winning goal came on a power play from the shallow point off Lemon’s stick late in the 3rd…Longshore cleaned it up nicely…photos of the ice show 5 Pigs players within 1.5 meters of the crease. “We did what we had to” said the Mangler after the game on their style of blue line play. “We got beat a bunch on defense but we stuck to the plan and edged em’ out” said the Lem who was on the ice for all 7 goals scored. “Guess that makes me +1.”

Papi's Corner: Bulldogs 3rd goal was a classic (see section 7, bullet #2). I recall the Lem and Mangler picking themselves up behind our own net after the goal.

Rob: Carne Asada taco’s were fantastic. Thank you.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

12/20/2006 T-mac’s Magic Goal, Mangler forces OT, Herrick plays Hero

Forget about what really happened that night…all you need to know are the following facts:

*9 brave skaters suited up + Pipes
*T-mac scored from the top of his own circle on a 5-3 penalty kill to move the Pigs in front 2-1
*Mangler forces OT by going top shelf on Jeff giving the Black Hounds their 3rd goal late in the 3rd. Herrick glee fully cheers!
*Herrick plays hero by scoring on a t-mac rebound in OT.

A note from the Pigs “number 1*” fan below. Good luck in 2007!


*Picture from eldest McClure daughter. She has not seen a game since 2004 casting a cloud of doubt on her “#1” status. Time for daddy to bring the family out!!!!!