Thursday, May 24, 2007

May 23, 2007: Old Dog…New Tricks…the Return of “Greenspanning.”

The Pigs fell into an old pattern of sloppy passing, ill advised shots, and an inability to clear the puck from our own zone as the BlackHounds were able to erase an early 3-0 Pig lead by the end of the 2nd period. A key Papi reminder to stick to the Championship plan before the start of the 3rd period catapulted the Pigs to a 5-3 victory behind a few 3rd period goals (t-Mac, Kid) and solid defense from the blue line squad. The Greenspanning (not the guy but the act) started well before the shower as Tall Gary in his uber exec way says “hey kid…you get my two helpers.” Now Tall Gary before the "accident" sure...two helpers no problem but since his couragous return not so automatic. Turns out the guy had a legit two helpers…who’d a thunk? Nice work TG!

Team note: Fan Mail has started to poor in and it looks like the fan favorite for 2007 is….the KID. I’d like to thank all my fans and in particular Kate McClure for the fantastic drawing. Its likeness is uncanny. I would like to go on the record that my eye lashes are much longer and luscious than depicted. Also you gave me Lemon’s ears. Not funny. New Pants on the way!

May 17, 2007: Blue Velvet

“F*&^ that shit” was really the tone for the night as the Pigs put the wood to the usually horrendous Pabst Blue Ribbon squad. With a final score of 8-3 it was pretty much all MAC…regular Mac and T-mac doing most of the damage on the scoreboard and Denny Longshore mixing it up on the ice and in the penalty box. Blue Velvet night was also appreciated by the 1st fan of the season Meghan Rose. Thanks for coming out and you get your choice of a severed human ear or a tank of Frank approved “nitrous.” (see the movie if you want to know what I’m talking about).



Team note1: The Kid proclaims his own sloth and gluttony has caused his weight (most notably the gunt) to balloon to a whopping 192 pounds. Countermeasures are in place.

Team note2: Lonshore misplaced his keys and had to call home to his wife to come pick him up...at 12AM. Nice work Denny!
May 9, 2007: Summer 2007 Season is Here!

In what looked to be a repeat of the Winter Championship game the Pigs faced off against the vVault to open up the 2007 Summer season. Down 2-0 going into the 3rd period the ever expanding Kevin Rose scored the 1st Pig goal of the season. “I’ve been eating, sleeping, and doing other challenging things that firemen do every day…well every other day and not on my four day breaks…we basically work 10 days a month. It’s hard sometimes,” K-Rose told reporters after the game in reference to why his belly is larger than the Kid’s. With 41 seconds left in the game and trailing 2-1, Pig Papi tallied the game tying goal in a game where he had a shot at a Gordie Howe hat trick. Not tonight. Deep in the Pig zone and with about 18 seconds left on the clock Herrick lines up for the face off. While looking back to see if Jeff is set the Ref drops the puck and the vVaulter one timed a shot that breezed by goalie Jeff who was fixing a pad and not ready for the play to start. The final horn sounds and the Pigs lose 3-2. “I really blew that one” the ref said after the game…”I wasn’t paying attention.” Them’s the breaks boys.

Team note1: Tall Gary broke his f-bom silence by rocking the hockey world with not 1…not 2…not 3…but 4 f-Boms on the ice. Potty mouth.
May 1, 2007: Immigration out of Control

Here is a blast from the 1990s as the Pig’s own Mac McClure becomes a card carrying member of the US of A. I should note that Mac “lost” his wallet at this event (there is no evidence that the Mexican fella behind him was the culprit and racial profiling is illegal). Mac swears there were no Al Queda sleeper members in the room however when traveling abroad he still tells folks he’s Canadian.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Pig Notes 5/2/2007

>2007 Summer Season to start the week of 5/7
>Ex Pig Phifer "54", in full Red Wing regalia was heckled at the Tank Monday night as the Sharks took a 2-1 lead in the series against the Red Wings.
>Fast Eddy Sighting at the Tank

>JAWS v Mangler