Congrats to Peter and family.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
July 8, 2007: Pig Pool Party
Pigs Celebrated their 2007 Championship in style. Thank you Dino and Darcy for hosting the festivities. Click HERE for pics.
Pigs Celebrated their 2007 Championship in style. Thank you Dino and Darcy for hosting the festivities. Click HERE for pics.
June 28, 2007: Pigs v Praire Dogs...
All it took was a few goals from Dino and a couple of helpers from Papi to send the lucky few Praire Dogs back into their holes. The rest we ate to the tune of 4-2.
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Look at these little bastards roasting.
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Papi resting on his Laurals
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Tyler mulling over a few new words he learned in the penatly box
The LEM keeps on giving...click here for more Tripple T! "You can't cut the cheese where ever you please."
All it took was a few goals from Dino and a couple of helpers from Papi to send the lucky few Praire Dogs back into their holes. The rest we ate to the tune of 4-2.
+003.jpg)
Look at these little bastards roasting.
+001.jpg)
Papi resting on his Laurals
+002.jpg)
Tyler mulling over a few new words he learned in the penatly box
The LEM keeps on giving...click here for more Tripple T! "You can't cut the cheese where ever you please."
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
June 21, 2007: Pigs go OBUS against the PBR
The Pigs get back on track by using a secret weapon against the PBR squad. Yes Tmac had the usual natural hattie but the Pig unleased their Eurpean white whale: OBUS against these beer drinking sally's. Final Score: Pigs 6 PBR 1.
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Tripple T is back for another episode here THE LEM ROCKS
The Pigs get back on track by using a secret weapon against the PBR squad. Yes Tmac had the usual natural hattie but the Pig unleased their Eurpean white whale: OBUS against these beer drinking sally's. Final Score: Pigs 6 PBR 1.
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Tripple T is back for another episode here THE LEM ROCKS
June 14, 2007: Pigs Fall to vVault 6-4
I can't really remember the details here outside of the final score and 21 minor penalties. I think Tmac showed up drunk and still pulled off a hat trick. Not all is lost as I invite you to feast your eyes on this gem link courtesy of the Lem.
I can't really remember the details here outside of the final score and 21 minor penalties. I think Tmac showed up drunk and still pulled off a hat trick. Not all is lost as I invite you to feast your eyes on this gem link courtesy of the Lem.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
May 31, 2007: Webster taunts Pig Legend; “Hollow” you say?
Well it all started with a schedule snafu where three teams suited up and gathered on the ice for an 8:45 game. Captain Mac went right to work trying to figure it out with the other captains. Each referencing a schedule showing it was their team slotted at 8:45. While there were no Mexicans on the ice it was a Mexican stand off. Finally the assistant hockey director lumbered out with laptop in hand to settle the dispute. Here’s the dialog:
The scene: a hockey rink yet off ice next to the boards by the drinking fountains, a group of players and other Oakland Ice officials huddled over a PC looking at a hockey schedule.
The Characters: all playing themselves, Mac, Lemon, and various Pigs, assistant hockey director, and an unidentified goalie
Assistant Hockey Director: sorry guys…it looks like the Pigs don’t play until 10:15
Mac: huh…the last schedule I have says we play at 8:45
Assistant Hockey Director: nope…I sent a revised revised schedule out on Friday…that is the one we are looking at now
Mac: umm I never received one. This is BUSH. No one updated me with these “particulars”
Assistant Hockey Director: uhhhh sorry
Lemon (coming emotionally unglued upon the realization that he would not be playing hockey tonight due to him having to be at work at 11:00pm): This is fucked up. I pay $450 dollars a season for this shit. Fuck you. Can’t you get a schedule right? This is the 3rd one and we are already into the 4th game of an already short season.
Assistant Hockey Director: sorry
Lemon (still in the Assistant Hockey Director’s face): total bullshit…yada yada yada
Unidentified goalie (in full goalie regalia, about 5’6” and very young talking to Lemon): easy bro…it’s not his fault
Lemon: what is your problem kid?
Unidentified goalie: you wanna go?
Lemon: huh?
Unidentified goalie: I’ll drop you right here bitch
Lemon (chuckling now): right…how bout you call me when your nuts drop.
Unidentified goalie: I’m 19 fucker
Lemon: whatever Webster….
That was that and the Pigs headed to the locker room to kill an hour and a half by telling tales of Pig seasons past (all the Tall Gary injury stories, Pete’s “particularly” funny pistol story, 1998 Championship, 2003 Championship, German Bier recipies from Pipes, Deaf Ron, Gordie, and theories as to why goalie Rich was such an ass) over a couple of beers (three in Longshore’s case). The Pigs then played the Blue to a tired tune of 5-1 behind some gritty front line play from Papi and a couple of Danny New Boy goals. After the game the tired Pigs when topside to welcome in Friday morning with some Caspar dogs courtousy of Fireman Rob. During this time it became clear to Papi that there is too much mystery around skate sharpening.
Papi’s Corner: Everyone knows a blade has two edges, an inside and an outside. Between these two edges is what the skating community calls a “hollow.” A skate with a deep hollow has very pronounced and aggressive edges (great for sharp turns, not so great for speed) whereas a skate with a shallow hollow produce faster speeds however don’t grip the ice as well given their bite angle is not as direct. Ice hockey players need to find the right balance between deep and shallow. The most common hockey blade hollow sharpening choices one might ask for at local hockey shop are (measured in ROH or Radius of Hollow):
Shallow: Less Bite (more speed and glide)
½”
7/16”
3/8”
5/16”
¼”
Deeper: More Bite (aggressive edges and ice grab)
Kid’s Recommendation:
Most of the Pigs should stay on the shallower end of the pool. A few exceptions:
Tall Gary: his sheer size may demand a deeper cut
Tmac: should experiment with deep cuts due to his superior skills
Pete: see Tall Gary
Papi: see TG and Tmac
Lemon: go 3/8…you like to put the breaks on as well as go coast to coast
KRose: see Tall Gary
Pipes: good luck
Well it all started with a schedule snafu where three teams suited up and gathered on the ice for an 8:45 game. Captain Mac went right to work trying to figure it out with the other captains. Each referencing a schedule showing it was their team slotted at 8:45. While there were no Mexicans on the ice it was a Mexican stand off. Finally the assistant hockey director lumbered out with laptop in hand to settle the dispute. Here’s the dialog:
The scene: a hockey rink yet off ice next to the boards by the drinking fountains, a group of players and other Oakland Ice officials huddled over a PC looking at a hockey schedule.
The Characters: all playing themselves, Mac, Lemon, and various Pigs, assistant hockey director, and an unidentified goalie
Assistant Hockey Director: sorry guys…it looks like the Pigs don’t play until 10:15
Mac: huh…the last schedule I have says we play at 8:45
Assistant Hockey Director: nope…I sent a revised revised schedule out on Friday…that is the one we are looking at now
Mac: umm I never received one. This is BUSH. No one updated me with these “particulars”
Assistant Hockey Director: uhhhh sorry
Lemon (coming emotionally unglued upon the realization that he would not be playing hockey tonight due to him having to be at work at 11:00pm): This is fucked up. I pay $450 dollars a season for this shit. Fuck you. Can’t you get a schedule right? This is the 3rd one and we are already into the 4th game of an already short season.
Assistant Hockey Director: sorry
Lemon (still in the Assistant Hockey Director’s face): total bullshit…yada yada yada
Unidentified goalie (in full goalie regalia, about 5’6” and very young talking to Lemon): easy bro…it’s not his fault
Lemon: what is your problem kid?
Unidentified goalie: you wanna go?
Lemon: huh?
Unidentified goalie: I’ll drop you right here bitch
Lemon (chuckling now): right…how bout you call me when your nuts drop.
Unidentified goalie: I’m 19 fucker
Lemon: whatever Webster….
That was that and the Pigs headed to the locker room to kill an hour and a half by telling tales of Pig seasons past (all the Tall Gary injury stories, Pete’s “particularly” funny pistol story, 1998 Championship, 2003 Championship, German Bier recipies from Pipes, Deaf Ron, Gordie, and theories as to why goalie Rich was such an ass) over a couple of beers (three in Longshore’s case). The Pigs then played the Blue to a tired tune of 5-1 behind some gritty front line play from Papi and a couple of Danny New Boy goals. After the game the tired Pigs when topside to welcome in Friday morning with some Caspar dogs courtousy of Fireman Rob. During this time it became clear to Papi that there is too much mystery around skate sharpening.
Papi’s Corner: Everyone knows a blade has two edges, an inside and an outside. Between these two edges is what the skating community calls a “hollow.” A skate with a deep hollow has very pronounced and aggressive edges (great for sharp turns, not so great for speed) whereas a skate with a shallow hollow produce faster speeds however don’t grip the ice as well given their bite angle is not as direct. Ice hockey players need to find the right balance between deep and shallow. The most common hockey blade hollow sharpening choices one might ask for at local hockey shop are (measured in ROH or Radius of Hollow):
Shallow: Less Bite (more speed and glide)
½”
7/16”
3/8”
5/16”
¼”
Deeper: More Bite (aggressive edges and ice grab)
Kid’s Recommendation:
Most of the Pigs should stay on the shallower end of the pool. A few exceptions:
Tall Gary: his sheer size may demand a deeper cut
Tmac: should experiment with deep cuts due to his superior skills
Pete: see Tall Gary
Papi: see TG and Tmac
Lemon: go 3/8…you like to put the breaks on as well as go coast to coast
KRose: see Tall Gary
Pipes: good luck
Thursday, May 24, 2007
May 23, 2007: Old Dog…New Tricks…the Return of “Greenspanning.”
The Pigs fell into an old pattern of sloppy passing, ill advised shots, and an inability to clear the puck from our own zone as the BlackHounds were able to erase an early 3-0 Pig lead by the end of the 2nd period. A key Papi reminder to stick to the Championship plan before the start of the 3rd period catapulted the Pigs to a 5-3 victory behind a few 3rd period goals (t-Mac, Kid) and solid defense from the blue line squad. The Greenspanning (not the guy but the act) started well before the shower as Tall Gary in his uber exec way says “hey kid…you get my two helpers.” Now Tall Gary before the "accident" sure...two helpers no problem but since his couragous return not so automatic. Turns out the guy had a legit two helpers…who’d a thunk? Nice work TG!
Team note: Fan Mail has started to poor in and it looks like the fan favorite for 2007 is….the KID. I’d like to thank all my fans and in particular Kate McClure for the fantastic drawing. Its likeness is uncanny. I would like to go on the record that my eye lashes are much longer and luscious than depicted. Also you gave me Lemon’s ears. Not funny. New Pants on the way!
The Pigs fell into an old pattern of sloppy passing, ill advised shots, and an inability to clear the puck from our own zone as the BlackHounds were able to erase an early 3-0 Pig lead by the end of the 2nd period. A key Papi reminder to stick to the Championship plan before the start of the 3rd period catapulted the Pigs to a 5-3 victory behind a few 3rd period goals (t-Mac, Kid) and solid defense from the blue line squad. The Greenspanning (not the guy but the act) started well before the shower as Tall Gary in his uber exec way says “hey kid…you get my two helpers.” Now Tall Gary before the "accident" sure...two helpers no problem but since his couragous return not so automatic. Turns out the guy had a legit two helpers…who’d a thunk? Nice work TG!
Team note: Fan Mail has started to poor in and it looks like the fan favorite for 2007 is….the KID. I’d like to thank all my fans and in particular Kate McClure for the fantastic drawing. Its likeness is uncanny. I would like to go on the record that my eye lashes are much longer and luscious than depicted. Also you gave me Lemon’s ears. Not funny. New Pants on the way!
May 17, 2007: Blue Velvet
“F*&^ that shit” was really the tone for the night as the Pigs put the wood to the usually horrendous Pabst Blue Ribbon squad. With a final score of 8-3 it was pretty much all MAC…regular Mac and T-mac doing most of the damage on the scoreboard and Denny Longshore mixing it up on the ice and in the penalty box. Blue Velvet night was also appreciated by the 1st fan of the season Meghan Rose. Thanks for coming out and you get your choice of a severed human ear or a tank of Frank approved “nitrous.” (see the movie if you want to know what I’m talking about).
Team note1: The Kid proclaims his own sloth and gluttony has caused his weight (most notably the gunt) to balloon to a whopping 192 pounds. Countermeasures are in place.
Team note2: Lonshore misplaced his keys and had to call home to his wife to come pick him up...at 12AM. Nice work Denny!
“F*&^ that shit” was really the tone for the night as the Pigs put the wood to the usually horrendous Pabst Blue Ribbon squad. With a final score of 8-3 it was pretty much all MAC…regular Mac and T-mac doing most of the damage on the scoreboard and Denny Longshore mixing it up on the ice and in the penalty box. Blue Velvet night was also appreciated by the 1st fan of the season Meghan Rose. Thanks for coming out and you get your choice of a severed human ear or a tank of Frank approved “nitrous.” (see the movie if you want to know what I’m talking about).
Team note1: The Kid proclaims his own sloth and gluttony has caused his weight (most notably the gunt) to balloon to a whopping 192 pounds. Countermeasures are in place.
Team note2: Lonshore misplaced his keys and had to call home to his wife to come pick him up...at 12AM. Nice work Denny!
May 9, 2007: Summer 2007 Season is Here!
In what looked to be a repeat of the Winter Championship game the Pigs faced off against the vVault to open up the 2007 Summer season. Down 2-0 going into the 3rd period the ever expanding Kevin Rose scored the 1st Pig goal of the season. “I’ve been eating, sleeping, and doing other challenging things that firemen do every day…well every other day and not on my four day breaks…we basically work 10 days a month. It’s hard sometimes,” K-Rose told reporters after the game in reference to why his belly is larger than the Kid’s. With 41 seconds left in the game and trailing 2-1, Pig Papi tallied the game tying goal in a game where he had a shot at a Gordie Howe hat trick. Not tonight. Deep in the Pig zone and with about 18 seconds left on the clock Herrick lines up for the face off. While looking back to see if Jeff is set the Ref drops the puck and the vVaulter one timed a shot that breezed by goalie Jeff who was fixing a pad and not ready for the play to start. The final horn sounds and the Pigs lose 3-2. “I really blew that one” the ref said after the game…”I wasn’t paying attention.” Them’s the breaks boys.
Team note1: Tall Gary broke his f-bom silence by rocking the hockey world with not 1…not 2…not 3…but 4 f-Boms on the ice. Potty mouth.
In what looked to be a repeat of the Winter Championship game the Pigs faced off against the vVault to open up the 2007 Summer season. Down 2-0 going into the 3rd period the ever expanding Kevin Rose scored the 1st Pig goal of the season. “I’ve been eating, sleeping, and doing other challenging things that firemen do every day…well every other day and not on my four day breaks…we basically work 10 days a month. It’s hard sometimes,” K-Rose told reporters after the game in reference to why his belly is larger than the Kid’s. With 41 seconds left in the game and trailing 2-1, Pig Papi tallied the game tying goal in a game where he had a shot at a Gordie Howe hat trick. Not tonight. Deep in the Pig zone and with about 18 seconds left on the clock Herrick lines up for the face off. While looking back to see if Jeff is set the Ref drops the puck and the vVaulter one timed a shot that breezed by goalie Jeff who was fixing a pad and not ready for the play to start. The final horn sounds and the Pigs lose 3-2. “I really blew that one” the ref said after the game…”I wasn’t paying attention.” Them’s the breaks boys.
Team note1: Tall Gary broke his f-bom silence by rocking the hockey world with not 1…not 2…not 3…but 4 f-Boms on the ice. Potty mouth.
May 1, 2007: Immigration out of Control
Here is a blast from the 1990s as the Pig’s own Mac McClure becomes a card carrying member of the US of A. I should note that Mac “lost” his wallet at this event (there is no evidence that the Mexican fella behind him was the culprit and racial profiling is illegal). Mac swears there were no Al Queda sleeper members in the room however when traveling abroad he still tells folks he’s Canadian.
Here is a blast from the 1990s as the Pig’s own Mac McClure becomes a card carrying member of the US of A. I should note that Mac “lost” his wallet at this event (there is no evidence that the Mexican fella behind him was the culprit and racial profiling is illegal). Mac swears there were no Al Queda sleeper members in the room however when traveling abroad he still tells folks he’s Canadian.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
4/27/07 The Celebration Continues....
A message from Pipes (click here bitches).
Tall MF Gary and One eyed Pete
Dino & Mac enjoy a Tecate!
Lemon stowes his gear
Kid & Tmac rocking the house
A ginormous Thank you goes to the hottest Asian wife on the squad for the tri tip sandwiches. You are a Pig for life (I use the term Pig affectionately of course). Mangler...what is your wife doing with the remote control? Who's your daddy?
A message from Pipes (click here bitches).
Tall MF Gary and One eyed Pete
Dino & Mac enjoy a Tecate!
Lemon stowes his gear
Kid & Tmac rocking the house
A ginormous Thank you goes to the hottest Asian wife on the squad for the tri tip sandwiches. You are a Pig for life (I use the term Pig affectionately of course). Mangler...what is your wife doing with the remote control? Who's your daddy?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
4/10/2007: 2007 Silver A Championship (Game 2), Year of the Pig
Like the knights of old, Pigs are often highly regarded for their chivalry and pureness of heart, and will often sacrifice their own well-being for the greater good (Mac…how is the couch treating you?). Yup, 2007, Year of the Pig . So it is written and so it shall be as the Pigs took to the ice one last time in pursuit of the coveted Oakland Silver A Cup. With symbols of glory’s past (look past the hairy man breast) and the anticipation of future glory the team suited up for Game 2.
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Tired from the long and lonely drive from Santa Barbara earlier in the day team Captain Mac did his best to pump the team up, “Smoke your cigars, drink your Patrone, but bring you’re ‘A’ game…we haven’t won shit yet.” Game 1 hero and Superstar Goal Tender Pipes had this to say: “I’m in their head boys…play like this is your last game on earth.” And so we did.
Tmac drew blood only a minute into the first frame. One pig on the bench noticed the 21 year old phenmom wink in the direction of a Blonde spectator politely cheering in the stands. Ahhh. The love however was short lived as an unidentified Pig Nation member (looked a lot like Lemon’s littler brother?) swooped in and the two were not seen thereafter. Two more Pig goals were tallied as the Pigs exited the 1st period up 3-0. “Keep the pressure up…the longer we keep them from scoring the more they’ll over think and give up good shots for bad passes” Pipes piped in after rejecting 9 1st period shots. The Pigs kept grinding in the 2nd extending their lead to 4-0 all the while letting Pipes play out of his mind as he stopped another 8 shots. The Pigs struck again at the 1:00 minute mark to open up a 5-0 lead. Things got worse for the vVault squad when Denny Longshore used an old
Jedi mind trick on a cocky defenseman forcing him to score on his own net pumping the Pig lead to 6. The force turned on us a little when the word "shutout" escaped center Rob Herrick’s mouth from the bench halfway through the 3rd. Seconds later, as if Pipes had been tied Milhouse style to the goal posts and rendered powerless to make a save, vVault scored their 1st and only goal of the series. Denny Longshore, a true believer in the saying “you are only as good as your last goal” wanted to end things on a high note as he tallied a goal off a sweet one timer feed from Mac and the Pigs closed out the game with a 7-1 shellacking of the once feared vVault to win their 3rd Silver A Championship in 10 years.
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Let the CELEBRATION (click it...save it...play it with media player) begin. Fantastic season boys. Awards and season recap to come.
2007 Silver A Champions
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Team Celebration
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Kid sandwiched by a couple of MVPs
Dino and Mac
Tmac pours the Patrone
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Kid mixes with the Mangler & Dangler
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Unidentified Pig skriting off to Nashville
Like the knights of old, Pigs are often highly regarded for their chivalry and pureness of heart, and will often sacrifice their own well-being for the greater good (Mac…how is the couch treating you?). Yup, 2007, Year of the Pig . So it is written and so it shall be as the Pigs took to the ice one last time in pursuit of the coveted Oakland Silver A Cup. With symbols of glory’s past (look past the hairy man breast) and the anticipation of future glory the team suited up for Game 2.
+005.jpg)
Tired from the long and lonely drive from Santa Barbara earlier in the day team Captain Mac did his best to pump the team up, “Smoke your cigars, drink your Patrone, but bring you’re ‘A’ game…we haven’t won shit yet.” Game 1 hero and Superstar Goal Tender Pipes had this to say: “I’m in their head boys…play like this is your last game on earth.” And so we did.
Tmac drew blood only a minute into the first frame. One pig on the bench noticed the 21 year old phenmom wink in the direction of a Blonde spectator politely cheering in the stands. Ahhh. The love however was short lived as an unidentified Pig Nation member (looked a lot like Lemon’s littler brother?) swooped in and the two were not seen thereafter. Two more Pig goals were tallied as the Pigs exited the 1st period up 3-0. “Keep the pressure up…the longer we keep them from scoring the more they’ll over think and give up good shots for bad passes” Pipes piped in after rejecting 9 1st period shots. The Pigs kept grinding in the 2nd extending their lead to 4-0 all the while letting Pipes play out of his mind as he stopped another 8 shots. The Pigs struck again at the 1:00 minute mark to open up a 5-0 lead. Things got worse for the vVault squad when Denny Longshore used an old
Jedi mind trick on a cocky defenseman forcing him to score on his own net pumping the Pig lead to 6. The force turned on us a little when the word "shutout" escaped center Rob Herrick’s mouth from the bench halfway through the 3rd. Seconds later, as if Pipes had been tied Milhouse style to the goal posts and rendered powerless to make a save, vVault scored their 1st and only goal of the series. Denny Longshore, a true believer in the saying “you are only as good as your last goal” wanted to end things on a high note as he tallied a goal off a sweet one timer feed from Mac and the Pigs closed out the game with a 7-1 shellacking of the once feared vVault to win their 3rd Silver A Championship in 10 years.
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Let the CELEBRATION (click it...save it...play it with media player) begin. Fantastic season boys. Awards and season recap to come.
2007 Silver A Champions
+008.jpg)
Team Celebration
+010.jpg)
Kid sandwiched by a couple of MVPs
Dino and Mac
Tmac pours the Patrone
+011.jpg)
Kid mixes with the Mangler & Dangler
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Unidentified Pig skriting off to Nashville
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
4/3/2007: 2007 Silver A Championship (Game 1)
Things happen for a reason. The Pigs, having appeared in 2 prior Championship series (1999, 2003) and eventually winning both, make their 1st Finals in 4 years and against the #1 seed vVault squad. Losing the 2 prior meetings against the #1 seed vVault (18-1-1) the Pigs (15-4-1) came in with a familiar game plan of “chip and flow” yet now fueled by 3 hungry offensive lines, two solid defensive lines and anchored by Germany bound goaltender Pipes. The fuel for these lines came from Papi’s gametime speech entitled “Short Shifts Sink Enemy Ships." While not quite Churchill's "Battle of Britton" the time (vs action) based message really struck a chord with Wisconsin born Centerman Denny Longshore. “You mean I don’t have to handle the puck, check an opponent, and get a penalty before limping back to the bench?” a relieved Longshore replied. The Pigs took this plan and a 1-0 lead into the 3rd period with the lone goal coming in on a 5 hole “what the f&^%$” dribbler from Rosie. "I knew fresh legs would make a difference" sneered Mac from the bench in reference to his decision to keep Rosie off the ice during Sunday's OT win against the Edge. The Pigs short shift philosophy paid dividends early in the 3rd as they continued to chase down pucks and hurry vVault puck carriers. Tmac made it a 2-0 game with a beauty early in the 3rd and the Kid tapped one home a moment later to extend the lead to 3-0. Rosie, with those fresh legs, closed it out with the final goal and Pipes recorded his 2nd shutout of the playoff run stopping all 25 shots faced earning him top Pig honors. The defense played outstanding with the Lemon/Mangler and TG/RPM pairing chipping pucks out with calculated brilliance. Seems every game a new hero emerges. The post game Pig Nation celebration was clearly one of the best in recent memory. Pulled Pork sandwiches were the main course as prepared by Dino’s lovely wife. While pork may seem cannibalistic anything goes as 2007 is the year of the Pig. Yes things do happen for a reason. Game 2 slated for 4/10/2007.
Game 2 concerns:
1) Mac has reported that he will not be in attendance and will be on vacation with the family thru 4/11. The team will launch a shock and awe campaign to ensure they are not without their captain as the Pigs skate to glory on 4/10. Really Mac the couch is not a bad place to sleep.
2) Pipes will be in Germany for Game 3 (if necessary)…putting even more pressure on Mac.
Things happen for a reason. The Pigs, having appeared in 2 prior Championship series (1999, 2003) and eventually winning both, make their 1st Finals in 4 years and against the #1 seed vVault squad. Losing the 2 prior meetings against the #1 seed vVault (18-1-1) the Pigs (15-4-1) came in with a familiar game plan of “chip and flow” yet now fueled by 3 hungry offensive lines, two solid defensive lines and anchored by Germany bound goaltender Pipes. The fuel for these lines came from Papi’s gametime speech entitled “Short Shifts Sink Enemy Ships." While not quite Churchill's "Battle of Britton" the time (vs action) based message really struck a chord with Wisconsin born Centerman Denny Longshore. “You mean I don’t have to handle the puck, check an opponent, and get a penalty before limping back to the bench?” a relieved Longshore replied. The Pigs took this plan and a 1-0 lead into the 3rd period with the lone goal coming in on a 5 hole “what the f&^%$” dribbler from Rosie. "I knew fresh legs would make a difference" sneered Mac from the bench in reference to his decision to keep Rosie off the ice during Sunday's OT win against the Edge. The Pigs short shift philosophy paid dividends early in the 3rd as they continued to chase down pucks and hurry vVault puck carriers. Tmac made it a 2-0 game with a beauty early in the 3rd and the Kid tapped one home a moment later to extend the lead to 3-0. Rosie, with those fresh legs, closed it out with the final goal and Pipes recorded his 2nd shutout of the playoff run stopping all 25 shots faced earning him top Pig honors. The defense played outstanding with the Lemon/Mangler and TG/RPM pairing chipping pucks out with calculated brilliance. Seems every game a new hero emerges. The post game Pig Nation celebration was clearly one of the best in recent memory. Pulled Pork sandwiches were the main course as prepared by Dino’s lovely wife. While pork may seem cannibalistic anything goes as 2007 is the year of the Pig. Yes things do happen for a reason. Game 2 slated for 4/10/2007.
Game 2 concerns:
1) Mac has reported that he will not be in attendance and will be on vacation with the family thru 4/11. The team will launch a shock and awe campaign to ensure they are not without their captain as the Pigs skate to glory on 4/10. Really Mac the couch is not a bad place to sleep.
2) Pipes will be in Germany for Game 3 (if necessary)…putting even more pressure on Mac.
4/1/2007: Edged; Vegas
The Pigs playoff journey continued Sunday night vs the Edge. Confidence was not all that high after watching Tall Gary and Gracie drag their asses into the locker room hot on the heels of a Vegas weekend. After three periods, 14 penalties, and 63 shots on net the score was tied 3-3. The Pigs would however have to start the 5:00 OT with the Mangler serving time in the box for an ill advised penalty at the regulation buzzer. "What a Jackass!" With time running out most Pigs were gearing up for the dreaded “shootout” in which we are 0-3 lifetime. With the clock showing 10 seconds left the Pigs find themselves deep in the Edge zone. Six seconds left Tmac fondles the puck in the corner…4 seconds left he passes to Dino skirting along the far post. 3 seconds left Dino flirts with the puck…massaging it slowly back and forth with his stick…tempting the clock as it ticks down to 2…1….he shoots….he scores! Buzzer sounds and the Pigs advance to the Championship with a 4-3 OT win. “I couldn’t see the puck” the one eyed Dino said after the game…”I felt it and hoped for a happy ending.” “That was just like Tall Gary’s shot against the Skateful Dead back in the 2003 quarterfinals where Obus feathered a pass to Tall MF Gary who buried a shot with about :11 seconds remaining in regulation ultimately catapulting the Pigs to the Cup,” recalled an unidentified Pig Nation fan after the game. Interestingly enough here is how one amateur sports writer saw and wrote up the game highlights:
>|Pipes| leg save on the breakaway.
>RPM's center ice steal, turn and gun for a top shelf wrister goal.
>Dennis's opening tally to get the ball rolling.
>Robb & Rosie fore checking & mucking
>Mangler's nasty snarl.
>The Vegas twins holding down their lunch and keeping the Edge offence at bay.
>TMac distracting 3-4 guys on the ice so the rest of the pigs could get open.
>Kid thinking about his Blog.
>Lemon with the Dangle
>Papi with the stiff shoulder in front of the net.
>(Mac) trying to find a lane and organize an impromptu power play.
I'm sure there is somebody I have forgotten to mention but if that's the case that person obviously didn’t do anything special last night.
What a douche this writer is. Dino I got your back brutha! The Pigs will face the #1 seed vVault in the 2007 Silver A Championship series (best 2 out of 3) starting Tuesday April 3rd. vVault won both regular season matchups vs the Pigs. Go Pigs!
Note: Rosie did not get a shift in the OT period. Mangement gambled deciding to keep him on the bench saving his legs for the vVault series. We'll see if this strategy pans out.
The Pigs playoff journey continued Sunday night vs the Edge. Confidence was not all that high after watching Tall Gary and Gracie drag their asses into the locker room hot on the heels of a Vegas weekend. After three periods, 14 penalties, and 63 shots on net the score was tied 3-3. The Pigs would however have to start the 5:00 OT with the Mangler serving time in the box for an ill advised penalty at the regulation buzzer. "What a Jackass!" With time running out most Pigs were gearing up for the dreaded “shootout” in which we are 0-3 lifetime. With the clock showing 10 seconds left the Pigs find themselves deep in the Edge zone. Six seconds left Tmac fondles the puck in the corner…4 seconds left he passes to Dino skirting along the far post. 3 seconds left Dino flirts with the puck…massaging it slowly back and forth with his stick…tempting the clock as it ticks down to 2…1….he shoots….he scores! Buzzer sounds and the Pigs advance to the Championship with a 4-3 OT win. “I couldn’t see the puck” the one eyed Dino said after the game…”I felt it and hoped for a happy ending.” “That was just like Tall Gary’s shot against the Skateful Dead back in the 2003 quarterfinals where Obus feathered a pass to Tall MF Gary who buried a shot with about :11 seconds remaining in regulation ultimately catapulting the Pigs to the Cup,” recalled an unidentified Pig Nation fan after the game. Interestingly enough here is how one amateur sports writer saw and wrote up the game highlights:
>|Pipes| leg save on the breakaway.
>RPM's center ice steal, turn and gun for a top shelf wrister goal.
>Dennis's opening tally to get the ball rolling.
>Robb & Rosie fore checking & mucking
>Mangler's nasty snarl.
>The Vegas twins holding down their lunch and keeping the Edge offence at bay.
>TMac distracting 3-4 guys on the ice so the rest of the pigs could get open.
>Kid thinking about his Blog.
>Lemon with the Dangle
>Papi with the stiff shoulder in front of the net.
>(Mac) trying to find a lane and organize an impromptu power play.
I'm sure there is somebody I have forgotten to mention but if that's the case that person obviously didn’t do anything special last night.
What a douche this writer is. Dino I got your back brutha! The Pigs will face the #1 seed vVault in the 2007 Silver A Championship series (best 2 out of 3) starting Tuesday April 3rd. vVault won both regular season matchups vs the Pigs. Go Pigs!
Note: Rosie did not get a shift in the OT period. Mangement gambled deciding to keep him on the bench saving his legs for the vVault series. We'll see if this strategy pans out.
Monday, April 02, 2007
3/30/2007: Age & Treachery overcome Youth & Skill in Round 2; The Cyclopes Commeth
The 2nd round of the 2007 Silver A Oakland Hockey Playoffs continued as the Pigs faced off against the Whalers. Scoreless after the 1st period both teams settled back into their natural flow patterns. The Whalers being a relatively young squad had a clear speed and possibly a slight skill advantage. Unfortunately the youthful Whalers also amassed a whopping 12 minor penalties for the following infractions: Roughing (8) and Unsportsmanlike (4). The more mature and cerebral Pigs were not without sin as they tried to slow the Whalers down with the following 8 minors: Tripping (4), Holding (2), and Interference (2). In the end the wise Pig fueled by Pipes, Herrick, & TMac (our Youth & Skill player) were able to put this thing away 5-0 (recorded score was 5-1 however we know the truth). Dino (of 80s mullet fame (see 10-13-2006 post), almost a game time scratch due to an off ice stick injury, enters the game with limited vision in one eye (pictured below looking half transgender/half ex-Pig “Deaf Ron”). With his 3rd period goal to give the Pigs a 4-0 lead a great story of Pig heroics begins. Enter the Cyclopes…semi final game scheduled for April 1 vs Edge.
The 2nd round of the 2007 Silver A Oakland Hockey Playoffs continued as the Pigs faced off against the Whalers. Scoreless after the 1st period both teams settled back into their natural flow patterns. The Whalers being a relatively young squad had a clear speed and possibly a slight skill advantage. Unfortunately the youthful Whalers also amassed a whopping 12 minor penalties for the following infractions: Roughing (8) and Unsportsmanlike (4). The more mature and cerebral Pigs were not without sin as they tried to slow the Whalers down with the following 8 minors: Tripping (4), Holding (2), and Interference (2). In the end the wise Pig fueled by Pipes, Herrick, & TMac (our Youth & Skill player) were able to put this thing away 5-0 (recorded score was 5-1 however we know the truth). Dino (of 80s mullet fame (see 10-13-2006 post), almost a game time scratch due to an off ice stick injury, enters the game with limited vision in one eye (pictured below looking half transgender/half ex-Pig “Deaf Ron”). With his 3rd period goal to give the Pigs a 4-0 lead a great story of Pig heroics begins. Enter the Cyclopes…semi final game scheduled for April 1 vs Edge.
Friday, March 30, 2007
3/25/07 Playoff Hockey is Here; Pigs partner with Canadian Youth.
Finishing the regular season with an impressive 15-4-1 record the Pigs ventured into the playoff pool ranked #2 pitting us against the #9 Bulldogs. After a 15 minute delay waiting for Oakland PD to arrive to escort a few players from the Ice (our long time fat f#@! friend #75 was ineligible to play yet refused to leave the ice) the game started. The Kid opened up the 2007 Pig Playoff season with a goal while adding another later in the 1st period as the Pigs cruised to a 12-1 victory. “The way Mac’s fantasy hockey team was playing I had to do something on the ice to build his spirits” recalled the Kid in reference to Mac’s line up call partnering Kid with point powerhouse Tmac. Round two scheduled for 3/29.
In other news Tall Gary was on hand not only to rack up 3 assists in front of the home crowd he was able to kick off his latest business venture. Gary has partnered with a Canadian Youth organization committing every aluminum beer can consumed during or after a Pigs game be properly recycled with all the proceeds flowing north. Pictured below with a youth recycling the very first two cans. Congrats guys!
Finishing the regular season with an impressive 15-4-1 record the Pigs ventured into the playoff pool ranked #2 pitting us against the #9 Bulldogs. After a 15 minute delay waiting for Oakland PD to arrive to escort a few players from the Ice (our long time fat f#@! friend #75 was ineligible to play yet refused to leave the ice) the game started. The Kid opened up the 2007 Pig Playoff season with a goal while adding another later in the 1st period as the Pigs cruised to a 12-1 victory. “The way Mac’s fantasy hockey team was playing I had to do something on the ice to build his spirits” recalled the Kid in reference to Mac’s line up call partnering Kid with point powerhouse Tmac. Round two scheduled for 3/29.
In other news Tall Gary was on hand not only to rack up 3 assists in front of the home crowd he was able to kick off his latest business venture. Gary has partnered with a Canadian Youth organization committing every aluminum beer can consumed during or after a Pigs game be properly recycled with all the proceeds flowing north. Pictured below with a youth recycling the very first two cans. Congrats guys!
3/22/07 Recipe for Championship Hockey (Papi Style)
1) Line Changes: 45 - 60 second shifts, Shoot in - get off (Change as a unit)
2) 2 way hockey: Win all races for the puck, Play hard on the puck, 1 forward high two deep, Forwards come back into "D" zone to support, Outlet pass from "D" No floating in the neutral zone
3) Puck Movement: Crisp flat passes ( no chip shots ), Make sure puck gets thru ( not in their pads), Chip & flow (use angles off boards) this, keeps our guy moving
4) Passing: 200% rule, Not up the gut (middle of ice), Use soft dumps, Support puck carrier by making your stick available for pass
5) Protecting the lead: Trapping, one forechecker, Pick off errant passes, No pinching
6) Goalie: Puck support behind the net, Aggressive puckhandling on Power Play.
Go Pigs!
And now a message from Herrick, Denny & Kid to all our wingmen out there. Live the Dream boys!
1) Line Changes: 45 - 60 second shifts, Shoot in - get off (Change as a unit)
2) 2 way hockey: Win all races for the puck, Play hard on the puck, 1 forward high two deep, Forwards come back into "D" zone to support, Outlet pass from "D" No floating in the neutral zone
3) Puck Movement: Crisp flat passes ( no chip shots ), Make sure puck gets thru ( not in their pads), Chip & flow (use angles off boards) this, keeps our guy moving
4) Passing: 200% rule, Not up the gut (middle of ice), Use soft dumps, Support puck carrier by making your stick available for pass
5) Protecting the lead: Trapping, one forechecker, Pick off errant passes, No pinching
6) Goalie: Puck support behind the net, Aggressive puckhandling on Power Play.
Go Pigs!
And now a message from Herrick, Denny & Kid to all our wingmen out there. Live the Dream boys!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
GLOBAL WARNING (Warming): Hockey Heralded As Enemy Of The Earth??
Mangler...we will not stand for this as it threatens our way of life. Simply put...the average white, heterosexual male has had it with this crap. Talk to your people before we hurt them.
Mangler...we will not stand for this as it threatens our way of life. Simply put...the average white, heterosexual male has had it with this crap. Talk to your people before we hurt them.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
March 6, 2007: Pigs Lock up the #2 seed & Pop Cherry explains the Dangle
Tuesday’s game against the Mavericks proved that with the right inspiration anything can happen. It all started with a surprise locker-room visit from one of the all time greats…Pop Cherry. The patented finger point and a few words about “dangling” was all it took for the Pigs to avenge their week 9 loss (4-1) to the Mavericks. It only took the Kid 18 seconds to light the lamp in the 1st period off a Papi/Mac rebound in front of the net. No dangling yet a 1-0 lead. Seconds later the turtle “waives” a Papi goal claiming Mac was in the crease. Pigs extended their lead to 2-0 midway through the second off a t-mac PP goal. Pipes made the play of the game stopping a 2-0 while the Pigs were enjoying a 2 man advantage to keep the two goal advantage. A late 2nd period breakdown cost the Pigs a goal and made it a 2-1 game entering the 3rd. With spring league baseball in full swing t-mac warmed up with a mid air netter to seal the deal at 3-1. Game note: Pig all star defensemen Gracie with a tear, stepped forward and accepted the “unsung hero” award for the 2006-2007 season. Gracie listing last in PPG with a miniscule .27 does so many things on the ice that don’t show on the stat sheet. “I’m just hopping to get mentioned in the blog this week,” Gracie said upon accepting this award. Prior year winners include the “shadow” Greenspan and Big T. Neither was reachable for comment.
Inside the numbers: Pipe Dreams
Goaltender and reality based super smart guy “Pipes” is having quite a season. Posting a career best 14-3-1 record the goaltender is arguably playing in the “out of skull” mode reminiscent of the 2003 Pig Championship season. At the 10,000 foot level there is some concern that this record is artificially supported due to the great offensive numbers the team is posting. Let’s dive a little deeper. The Pigs are scoring 5.11 goals per game. Pipes is giving up an even 3.00 with a save percentage just south of .900. Championships are won with goaltending and if Pipes wants to live the dream he will need to step it up a notch. Or does he? Over the last three games Pipes is on Championship pace with a 1.67 GAA and .940 save percentage. Coach Cherry targets a sub 2 GAA and at least a .935 save percentage to have any chance of bringing home the cup. Pipes…dreams do come true.
Tuesday’s game against the Mavericks proved that with the right inspiration anything can happen. It all started with a surprise locker-room visit from one of the all time greats…Pop Cherry. The patented finger point and a few words about “dangling” was all it took for the Pigs to avenge their week 9 loss (4-1) to the Mavericks. It only took the Kid 18 seconds to light the lamp in the 1st period off a Papi/Mac rebound in front of the net. No dangling yet a 1-0 lead. Seconds later the turtle “waives” a Papi goal claiming Mac was in the crease. Pigs extended their lead to 2-0 midway through the second off a t-mac PP goal. Pipes made the play of the game stopping a 2-0 while the Pigs were enjoying a 2 man advantage to keep the two goal advantage. A late 2nd period breakdown cost the Pigs a goal and made it a 2-1 game entering the 3rd. With spring league baseball in full swing t-mac warmed up with a mid air netter to seal the deal at 3-1. Game note: Pig all star defensemen Gracie with a tear, stepped forward and accepted the “unsung hero” award for the 2006-2007 season. Gracie listing last in PPG with a miniscule .27 does so many things on the ice that don’t show on the stat sheet. “I’m just hopping to get mentioned in the blog this week,” Gracie said upon accepting this award. Prior year winners include the “shadow” Greenspan and Big T. Neither was reachable for comment.
Inside the numbers: Pipe Dreams
Goaltender and reality based super smart guy “Pipes” is having quite a season. Posting a career best 14-3-1 record the goaltender is arguably playing in the “out of skull” mode reminiscent of the 2003 Pig Championship season. At the 10,000 foot level there is some concern that this record is artificially supported due to the great offensive numbers the team is posting. Let’s dive a little deeper. The Pigs are scoring 5.11 goals per game. Pipes is giving up an even 3.00 with a save percentage just south of .900. Championships are won with goaltending and if Pipes wants to live the dream he will need to step it up a notch. Or does he? Over the last three games Pipes is on Championship pace with a 1.67 GAA and .940 save percentage. Coach Cherry targets a sub 2 GAA and at least a .935 save percentage to have any chance of bringing home the cup. Pipes…dreams do come true.
Friday, March 09, 2007
March 6, 2007: Nanny’s Gone Wild, F*&^% Haole!
Trailing 1-0 to the Bulldogs at the close of the 1st horn, goal scoring titan T-mac kicked things off scoring his 8th hat trick of the year giving the Pigs a 3-1 lead going into the final frame. “Where did you guys find that guy” reserve Pig and Reno resident Greg shouted (that's Greg in the Pig mask below sipping an ice cold Coors Light). He stopped shouting soon there after as he was the recipient of a intent to injure Major penalty that was the catalyst for three more Pig goals in the 3rd. Things got a little chippy down the stretch with Papi and Longshore getting the short end of a few hits. “Denny’s got to be patient” Papi told the team after the game…he goes after those guys right away…experience tells me I’ve got two or three seasons to line up the perfect hit.” Pigs went on to win this one 6-2…then the discussion turned towards Tall Gary.
Tall Gary? “Never heard of him” said Herrick after learning the forty something veteran Pig player originally committed to the game but cancelled last minute due to a nanny shortage (Tall Gary’s nanny was deported due to a visa violation). “It’s guys like Tall Gary that always make the argument for increased immigration to keep the labor supply heavy,” snorted Dino via satellite. “The middle class gets screwed...I mean I can’t afford to pay an undocumented guy $80 a month to mow my lawn let alone pay $7.25 an hour for an illegal nanny…my wife does it all.” Blue chip defenseman and Engineer Lemon offered up some additional immigration by the numbers tips and reminded everyone not to hate the immigrant but the policies and politicians that continue to allow it at rates that exceed our ability to absorb. Jeff is running the numbers now to see if Lemons calculations hold up. KRose concluded (and Gracie should take note) the discussion by letting everyone know that Oakland may be a safer place to drive than his former stopping grounds on the Islands.
Trailing 1-0 to the Bulldogs at the close of the 1st horn, goal scoring titan T-mac kicked things off scoring his 8th hat trick of the year giving the Pigs a 3-1 lead going into the final frame. “Where did you guys find that guy” reserve Pig and Reno resident Greg shouted (that's Greg in the Pig mask below sipping an ice cold Coors Light). He stopped shouting soon there after as he was the recipient of a intent to injure Major penalty that was the catalyst for three more Pig goals in the 3rd. Things got a little chippy down the stretch with Papi and Longshore getting the short end of a few hits. “Denny’s got to be patient” Papi told the team after the game…he goes after those guys right away…experience tells me I’ve got two or three seasons to line up the perfect hit.” Pigs went on to win this one 6-2…then the discussion turned towards Tall Gary.
Tall Gary? “Never heard of him” said Herrick after learning the forty something veteran Pig player originally committed to the game but cancelled last minute due to a nanny shortage (Tall Gary’s nanny was deported due to a visa violation). “It’s guys like Tall Gary that always make the argument for increased immigration to keep the labor supply heavy,” snorted Dino via satellite. “The middle class gets screwed...I mean I can’t afford to pay an undocumented guy $80 a month to mow my lawn let alone pay $7.25 an hour for an illegal nanny…my wife does it all.” Blue chip defenseman and Engineer Lemon offered up some additional immigration by the numbers tips and reminded everyone not to hate the immigrant but the policies and politicians that continue to allow it at rates that exceed our ability to absorb. Jeff is running the numbers now to see if Lemons calculations hold up. KRose concluded (and Gracie should take note) the discussion by letting everyone know that Oakland may be a safer place to drive than his former stopping grounds on the Islands.
Friday, March 02, 2007
March 2, 2007 Pig Spotlight: The forgotten Mac
It was only last year when former Canadian and Team Captain Kent McClure was the only "Mac" on the squad. Dating back to as early as reliable stats were kept (1998) Mac has been atop the heap (except for 1998 when the Blucher Boys owned the team):
1998: 3rd in pts (24), behind Blucher brother line mates Kid (26), and Obus (30) CHAMPIONSHIP
1999: 1st in pts (29) edging out fellow SLO boys Rosie (28) and Dino (25)
2000: No reliable records as Goalie Rich decided counting money was more important than accurate record keeping
2001: 1st in pts (30) dominating all Pigs with “54” (18), Kid (15) in tow
2002: 1st in pts (31) again with “54” (27) and Kid (16) trailing. CHAMPIONSHIP
2003: 1st in pts (22) followed by Dino (20) and Longshore (19)
2004: 1st in pts (38) lagged by Dino (26) and Gracie (18)
2005: 1st in pts (27) again trailed by Dino (18) and Minnesota Scott (15)
Things started to change in 2006 when the Pig front office signed a pair of talented "Mac’s" (Papi Mac and T-Mac) to the squad. The parallels to 1998 are too strong to dismiss.
2006: (thru game 17) 3rd in pts (20) behind McDonald father Papi (29) and son T-mac (44).
Might be too soon to tell if the this 2006 squad is ready to win it all however one thing is for sure…we have not forgotten who the original “Mac” is and where our bread is buttered. Your lovely wife and kids had this to say "We love you Mac...no matter what you are #1 in our book." The team feels the same way!
It was only last year when former Canadian and Team Captain Kent McClure was the only "Mac" on the squad. Dating back to as early as reliable stats were kept (1998) Mac has been atop the heap (except for 1998 when the Blucher Boys owned the team):
1998: 3rd in pts (24), behind Blucher brother line mates Kid (26), and Obus (30) CHAMPIONSHIP
1999: 1st in pts (29) edging out fellow SLO boys Rosie (28) and Dino (25)
2000: No reliable records as Goalie Rich decided counting money was more important than accurate record keeping
2001: 1st in pts (30) dominating all Pigs with “54” (18), Kid (15) in tow
2002: 1st in pts (31) again with “54” (27) and Kid (16) trailing. CHAMPIONSHIP
2003: 1st in pts (22) followed by Dino (20) and Longshore (19)
2004: 1st in pts (38) lagged by Dino (26) and Gracie (18)
2005: 1st in pts (27) again trailed by Dino (18) and Minnesota Scott (15)
Things started to change in 2006 when the Pig front office signed a pair of talented "Mac’s" (Papi Mac and T-Mac) to the squad. The parallels to 1998 are too strong to dismiss.
2006: (thru game 17) 3rd in pts (20) behind McDonald father Papi (29) and son T-mac (44).
Might be too soon to tell if the this 2006 squad is ready to win it all however one thing is for sure…we have not forgotten who the original “Mac” is and where our bread is buttered. Your lovely wife and kids had this to say "We love you Mac...no matter what you are #1 in our book." The team feels the same way!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
February 27, 2007: Pigs Pound Hounds; Stocks Fall on Beer Supply Warnings
The porky Pigs pickled the visiting Black Hounds to the tune of 6-2 in front of Herrick’s street clad comrade (double click the pic below and look past the Pig for the dude in the "Sox" hat). “He’z dope” was all 1st star of the game RW T-mac could muster when handed the microphone. T-mac posted his league leading 7th hat trick of the season all the while making friends with buxom British blondes in between games (see T-mac’s cell phone for details). Pipes receiving the Pig mask and 2nd star honors had this to say “Miller Light sucks” (more on this later). 3rd star accolades go to former tunnel rat line anchor, Dino, for bringing ice cold “Stella Artois” and the sweetest one-timer of the night. The win puts the Pigs tenuously in 2nd place sporting a robust 12-4-1 record and tied for the league lead in goals scored (84). While the Pig performance on the ice certainly is peaking the off ice peripherals need work. Case (or lack there of) in point are the 6 Miller Lights & 3 Coors lights brought by Fire Friendly KRose. Are you kidding me? Even worse was ex 80s porn star and this week’s beer bitch Longshore not showing up with his share of the highly coveted brews. And you thought “blue balls” was the worst thing imaginable in your teen years. Ha. Beer was on such short supply that the team had to sponsor an offsite brewery session to ensure there were enough libations for the Nation. At this session word has it Mangler was called every name known to man for missing his second straight game.
Game Highlights:
>Best back handed shot: Lemon’s dribbler that somehow find its way to T-macs stick.
>Best line change(s): Kid/Gracie setting up Lemon/Papi with a few sweet offensive zone “on the flys”
>Best goal: Dino (see above)
>Best Beer: Dino (see above)
>Best Hit: Kid vs Herrick (sorry buddy)
>Best crease clear: Rosey (that guy should complete a rape kit and submit to Oakland PD)
>Best defensive move: Lemon’s 2:1 stick check late in the 3rd
>Best defensive offensive move(s): whatever Papi does
>Best offensive defensive move: Herrick coving the point while Papi does this thing
>Worst line change: Gracie says Lemon hung him out to dry once. Lemon says he had an equip issue.
>Worst Goal: is there ever a bad goal (well yes…just ask Mangler and Herrick)
>Worst Beer: MG light (KRose)
The porky Pigs pickled the visiting Black Hounds to the tune of 6-2 in front of Herrick’s street clad comrade (double click the pic below and look past the Pig for the dude in the "Sox" hat). “He’z dope” was all 1st star of the game RW T-mac could muster when handed the microphone. T-mac posted his league leading 7th hat trick of the season all the while making friends with buxom British blondes in between games (see T-mac’s cell phone for details). Pipes receiving the Pig mask and 2nd star honors had this to say “Miller Light sucks” (more on this later). 3rd star accolades go to former tunnel rat line anchor, Dino, for bringing ice cold “Stella Artois” and the sweetest one-timer of the night. The win puts the Pigs tenuously in 2nd place sporting a robust 12-4-1 record and tied for the league lead in goals scored (84). While the Pig performance on the ice certainly is peaking the off ice peripherals need work. Case (or lack there of) in point are the 6 Miller Lights & 3 Coors lights brought by Fire Friendly KRose. Are you kidding me? Even worse was ex 80s porn star and this week’s beer bitch Longshore not showing up with his share of the highly coveted brews. And you thought “blue balls” was the worst thing imaginable in your teen years. Ha. Beer was on such short supply that the team had to sponsor an offsite brewery session to ensure there were enough libations for the Nation. At this session word has it Mangler was called every name known to man for missing his second straight game.
Game Highlights:
>Best back handed shot: Lemon’s dribbler that somehow find its way to T-macs stick.
>Best line change(s): Kid/Gracie setting up Lemon/Papi with a few sweet offensive zone “on the flys”
>Best goal: Dino (see above)
>Best Beer: Dino (see above)
>Best Hit: Kid vs Herrick (sorry buddy)
>Best crease clear: Rosey (that guy should complete a rape kit and submit to Oakland PD)
>Best defensive move: Lemon’s 2:1 stick check late in the 3rd
>Best defensive offensive move(s): whatever Papi does
>Best offensive defensive move: Herrick coving the point while Papi does this thing
>Worst line change: Gracie says Lemon hung him out to dry once. Lemon says he had an equip issue.
>Worst Goal: is there ever a bad goal (well yes…just ask Mangler and Herrick)
>Worst Beer: MG light (KRose)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Al-Quaida Pizza and a Hat Trick +2
Since the Kid is away on family vacation I will post. Many of you were sorely missed....Not Really! The Pigs were about to face their biggest challenge of the season vs. the formidlble might of the Valut. The Vault just coming of a tie to the last place PBR had something to prove. The Pigs on the other hand coming off an W vs. the Edge knew this was going to be a nailbiter and they didn't disappoint. RPM was called up from the Over 40 Blazers to fill a big gap on D....Nice work. He had just gotten in a contract dispute with the managing partners of the Blazers and might be a late trade edition for summer on the Pigs....Negotiations are underway. Now to the action. T Mac.....for those who were there need I say more. T lit the lamp not once, not twice but 5 times a lady my friends. Yes he saw that the D was going to struggle with a no show from Mangler and yes Frazer....Did you say Frazer? Yes I did. His status is still unknown. Last word was there was some type of squirrel incident. Anyway T knew he wasn't going to get much help from the Turtle so he took things into his own hands. He led a flurry of 5 goals tallied in the final frame. Excellent work Head Manning the Puck. Pipes as usual played out of his skull. Lem let him down a time or 2 and so did PG. Pipes showcased some Hasek skills with a double paddle save that eventually found the back of the net with the Lem saying..MY BAD! Remember it is never to late to get back. Peter made it pretty clear he was beaten by Vault star #38 when after being beaten like he has never been before turns to look and Lem and give him a OOOPPS! Had to be there. All in all a nice effort. Rosey and Longshore continued to fluster the D and Herrick...well lets just say the best end to end man since Rocket Richard. Mac finally got the monkey off his back with a huge goal to pull the Pigs within 2 on a great chip and flow feed from Lem to T Mac who handed Mac the back of the net on a platter. Dino coming off back to back hatties had a plane to catch but made damn sure he got his fill of ice. He and Mac had there pattented give and go but unfortunately less go then give when it came to goals.....Hey you weren't there so no monday morning quarterbacking. The 9 that showed up played hard and played well. Now if we can carry that spirit over and remember it is never over till it is over we will hoist the pocket calculator once more. See you all soon. Oh yeah and RPM is off the beer hook Dino with the purchase or Pizza....2 for $20 (my jaw is still recovering).
Since the Kid is away on family vacation I will post. Many of you were sorely missed....Not Really! The Pigs were about to face their biggest challenge of the season vs. the formidlble might of the Valut. The Vault just coming of a tie to the last place PBR had something to prove. The Pigs on the other hand coming off an W vs. the Edge knew this was going to be a nailbiter and they didn't disappoint. RPM was called up from the Over 40 Blazers to fill a big gap on D....Nice work. He had just gotten in a contract dispute with the managing partners of the Blazers and might be a late trade edition for summer on the Pigs....Negotiations are underway. Now to the action. T Mac.....for those who were there need I say more. T lit the lamp not once, not twice but 5 times a lady my friends. Yes he saw that the D was going to struggle with a no show from Mangler and yes Frazer....Did you say Frazer? Yes I did. His status is still unknown. Last word was there was some type of squirrel incident. Anyway T knew he wasn't going to get much help from the Turtle so he took things into his own hands. He led a flurry of 5 goals tallied in the final frame. Excellent work Head Manning the Puck. Pipes as usual played out of his skull. Lem let him down a time or 2 and so did PG. Pipes showcased some Hasek skills with a double paddle save that eventually found the back of the net with the Lem saying..MY BAD! Remember it is never to late to get back. Peter made it pretty clear he was beaten by Vault star #38 when after being beaten like he has never been before turns to look and Lem and give him a OOOPPS! Had to be there. All in all a nice effort. Rosey and Longshore continued to fluster the D and Herrick...well lets just say the best end to end man since Rocket Richard. Mac finally got the monkey off his back with a huge goal to pull the Pigs within 2 on a great chip and flow feed from Lem to T Mac who handed Mac the back of the net on a platter. Dino coming off back to back hatties had a plane to catch but made damn sure he got his fill of ice. He and Mac had there pattented give and go but unfortunately less go then give when it came to goals.....Hey you weren't there so no monday morning quarterbacking. The 9 that showed up played hard and played well. Now if we can carry that spirit over and remember it is never over till it is over we will hoist the pocket calculator once more. See you all soon. Oh yeah and RPM is off the beer hook Dino with the purchase or Pizza....2 for $20 (my jaw is still recovering).
Thursday, February 15, 2007
2/15/2007 Papi’s Corner
Subject: Head Manning the puck.
the 
This tactic is very common when players in full flight are moving down ice with a teammate following with the puck. Head manning the puck will allow the attacking players to receive the puck in full flight, therefore putting additional pressure on the opposing team. The tactic requires the puck carrier to look up ice, find a passing lane and deliver the puck to his teammates stick. When this tactic is not carried out correctly the teammate will run out of ice, slow down or stop, therefore taking him out of the play. Crisp, flat passes are recommended.
Subject: Head Manning the puck.
the 
This tactic is very common when players in full flight are moving down ice with a teammate following with the puck. Head manning the puck will allow the attacking players to receive the puck in full flight, therefore putting additional pressure on the opposing team. The tactic requires the puck carrier to look up ice, find a passing lane and deliver the puck to his teammates stick. When this tactic is not carried out correctly the teammate will run out of ice, slow down or stop, therefore taking him out of the play. Crisp, flat passes are recommended.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
February 13, 2007: Big Pussy Pig, Pigs Win 5-1
Those who watch the Soprano’s know what happened to “Big Pussy” when he betrayed Tony. We on the Pigs treat matters similar to how the HBO production squad does things on TV. One such Pig learned a valuable lesson over the past few weeks. His name: Mangler. His crime: Treason (fraternizing with vVault). If Jack is walking funny this morning it may be because of that faulty pair of laces that tripped him up good behind the net or perhaps it is due to a special “Valentine” the Lem threw him after the two blueliners snuck off after the Pig 5-1 victory last night.
Those who watch the Soprano’s know what happened to “Big Pussy” when he betrayed Tony. We on the Pigs treat matters similar to how the HBO production squad does things on TV. One such Pig learned a valuable lesson over the past few weeks. His name: Mangler. His crime: Treason (fraternizing with vVault). If Jack is walking funny this morning it may be because of that faulty pair of laces that tripped him up good behind the net or perhaps it is due to a special “Valentine” the Lem threw him after the two blueliners snuck off after the Pig 5-1 victory last night.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
2/7/2007: Canadian Town Stands Firm
Gracie travels to Herouxville to present the town with a “back bacon” plaque. Plaque was signed by all members of the Pig Nation in a symbolic act of support for Heoruxville’s stance on protecting their way of life.
Gracie travels to Herouxville to present the town with a “back bacon” plaque. Plaque was signed by all members of the Pig Nation in a symbolic act of support for Heoruxville’s stance on protecting their way of life.
Monday, February 05, 2007
2/5/2007: Pigs Dominate Dogs; Roadrunner Blast From the Past
Super Bowl??? We’re talking hockey as the Pigs dominated the Black Dogs Sunday night to the tune of 6-2. The team was rewarded with b&w photos of “Jesse” MacDonald from the old Calgary rodeo cerca 1979. A modern day urban cowboy!
Notables:
*T-mac scores 4 goals
*Herrick drops out of Lady Byng contention
*Tall MF Gary buys two cars
*Lemon gets into an altercation skating below the offensive circle (don’t do it bro…bad things happen down there)
*Mangler skates the pond; has beer with Sota Pop; rejects vVault offer
Blast from the Past: The Buck Years: 1996: Roadrunners and Puck Pigs Go Down To The Wire
Super Bowl??? We’re talking hockey as the Pigs dominated the Black Dogs Sunday night to the tune of 6-2. The team was rewarded with b&w photos of “Jesse” MacDonald from the old Calgary rodeo cerca 1979. A modern day urban cowboy!
Notables:
*T-mac scores 4 goals
*Herrick drops out of Lady Byng contention
*Tall MF Gary buys two cars
*Lemon gets into an altercation skating below the offensive circle (don’t do it bro…bad things happen down there)
*Mangler skates the pond; has beer with Sota Pop; rejects vVault offer
Blast from the Past: The Buck Years: 1996: Roadrunners and Puck Pigs Go Down To The Wire
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
1/31/2007: Pigs Support Small Canadian Town Policy
In a split decision Pig Elders voted 2-1 to support Herouxville's "That's Enough Already" immigration integration policy. The majority Pig opinion was sympathetic to the Quebecers loss of the Nordiques and felt they should have somthing to call their own. "For Christs sake give em' a policy or two" one Elder cried out during the heated session. One Pig elder felt killing women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, etc. was ok if the woman deserved it.
In a split decision Pig Elders voted 2-1 to support Herouxville's "That's Enough Already" immigration integration policy. The majority Pig opinion was sympathetic to the Quebecers loss of the Nordiques and felt they should have somthing to call their own. "For Christs sake give em' a policy or two" one Elder cried out during the heated session. One Pig elder felt killing women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, etc. was ok if the woman deserved it.
Monday, January 29, 2007
1/28/2007: Piglet Power; “Gumper” dead at 77
The Pig Nation showed in force Sunday night to witness the Pigs skate to 5-5 tie against the West Coast Whalers. Down by a goal with only 1:09 left to play Coach McClure signals Pipes to come off the ice for an extra man advantage. Twenty four seconds later Rosie buries one to knot things up and that’s how we left it. “I saw my 8 year old daughter Kate signaling me to call a time out and regroup” recalled Mac after the game. “She calls the shots you know.” Later she was overheard telling her dad “…it’s time to go…I’ve got school tomorrow…I’ll be waiting in the car.” The McClure clan was seen leaving shortly thereafter.
The Pig Nation showed in force Sunday night to witness the Pigs skate to 5-5 tie against the West Coast Whalers. Down by a goal with only 1:09 left to play Coach McClure signals Pipes to come off the ice for an extra man advantage. Twenty four seconds later Rosie buries one to knot things up and that’s how we left it. “I saw my 8 year old daughter Kate signaling me to call a time out and regroup” recalled Mac after the game. “She calls the shots you know.” Later she was overheard telling her dad “…it’s time to go…I’ve got school tomorrow…I’ll be waiting in the car.” The McClure clan was seen leaving shortly thereafter.
Other notables:
*Dino records his 2nd hat trick in as many weeks
*Papi plays in a t-shirt in lieu of Jersey…get’s warning from the stripes.
*13 Piglets and tons of spousal support from the Pig Nation
*T-mac barred from Piglet photo for use of profanity
*Mrs Longshore eats the pavement and pays with an ounce of flesh
*KRose cooks Casper’s for all
*Mangler vows to use the 200% pass up the middle rule. In an act of solidarity Lemon takes the same vow. (See section 8, rule 9 in Papi's Corner link)
*Gumper dead at 77
Thursday, January 25, 2007
1/23/2007: Pigs Dominate as Iran Taunts the US and Israel; Chili dogs take their toll
While Dino was busy recording a hat trick in the Pigs 7-3 win over the PBR squad, Iranian leader Ahmadinejad “assured that the United States and the Zionist regime of Israel will soon come to the end of their lives." Pig scholar and goal tender Jeff who saved 12 of 15 shots on net briefly commented “there is no way that 2nd goal was a goal and there is no way the current conflict between the Shiites and Sunnis is a Zionist/US plot to dominate the region. It’s total malarky.” Ex Canadian patriot Tall MF Gary had this to say: “F*&^ the Iranians, f*&^ the Shiites, F*&^% the Sunnis…they don’t play hockey, they don’t drink beer…they are dead to me.” There was no comment from Ahmadinejad regarding Canada’s impending Armageddon.
It’s now day 2 after Longshore’s pickup truck style chili dogs…I’m all out of clean underwear.
While Dino was busy recording a hat trick in the Pigs 7-3 win over the PBR squad, Iranian leader Ahmadinejad “assured that the United States and the Zionist regime of Israel will soon come to the end of their lives." Pig scholar and goal tender Jeff who saved 12 of 15 shots on net briefly commented “there is no way that 2nd goal was a goal and there is no way the current conflict between the Shiites and Sunnis is a Zionist/US plot to dominate the region. It’s total malarky.” Ex Canadian patriot Tall MF Gary had this to say: “F*&^ the Iranians, f*&^ the Shiites, F*&^% the Sunnis…they don’t play hockey, they don’t drink beer…they are dead to me.” There was no comment from Ahmadinejad regarding Canada’s impending Armageddon.
It’s now day 2 after Longshore’s pickup truck style chili dogs…I’m all out of clean underwear.
1/16/2007: Chickens, Prairie Dogs and Pigs
Pigs post an 8-5 win over the Praire Dogs behind 11 pts from the duo of T and P Mac. With Family night rapidly approaching (1/28) the team has requested an encore presentation of Papi’s “Chicken” story for the wives and kids. Papi to bring a live chicken for demonstration purposes.
Pigs post an 8-5 win over the Praire Dogs behind 11 pts from the duo of T and P Mac. With Family night rapidly approaching (1/28) the team has requested an encore presentation of Papi’s “Chicken” story for the wives and kids. Papi to bring a live chicken for demonstration purposes.
Friday, January 12, 2007
1/11/2007: Hot Score Keeper gives Pigs a “win” despite a 4-1 loss; Canadians prefer to drink beer indoors
Was it the “Chip and Flow” or the five defensemen set that carried the Pigs to a 4-1 loss late Thursday night? “All I know is the McDonald pair kept trying to get back in the penalty box to see the scorekeeper” said Captain McClure after the game. T mac was the first to stur things up on and off the ice. After his first trip to the box he could hardly wait to get back. “She’s kinda ‘butta’ T mac explained…everything’s good but her face.” Papi really showed his prowess not only by scoring the Pigs lone goal but also by scoring huge points becoming the score keeper’s favorite. “Sweetie you need to push that button right there to start the clock” Papi explained after about 30 seconds of his penalty expired yet the darling scorekeeper forgot to run the clock. Kid and Gracie did everything possible to get her attention however after that she was smitten for Papi. Even T mac made one more attempt to secure a few more minutes of alone time with the beauty yet was tossed for fighting. When the final horn sounded the Pigs fell to the Mavericks 4-1. After reviewing the score sheet this AM it looks like Papi’s charismatic ways with the scorekeeper paid off and it appears the Pigs were recorded as the 4-1 winners. So that’s the ole “Chip & Flow”. Nice work Papi.
Beer news: Canadians prefer to drink beer indoors while American’s like the outdoors says a group of researchers in Oakland, CA. A scientific study was conducted using beer league hockey players. Conditions were set with equally attractive alcoholic beverages available both indoors and outdoors. The indoor ambient temperate was controlled to a brisk 55 degrees F while the outdoor conditions were much more harsh at about 33 degrees F. Five of Six beer drinking Americans chose the much harsher outdoor scene while three of three Canadians selected the protected indoor environment to consume their brew. Several subjects chose to opt out of this study for fear their identities would be discovered by devoted loved ones.
Was it the “Chip and Flow” or the five defensemen set that carried the Pigs to a 4-1 loss late Thursday night? “All I know is the McDonald pair kept trying to get back in the penalty box to see the scorekeeper” said Captain McClure after the game. T mac was the first to stur things up on and off the ice. After his first trip to the box he could hardly wait to get back. “She’s kinda ‘butta’ T mac explained…everything’s good but her face.” Papi really showed his prowess not only by scoring the Pigs lone goal but also by scoring huge points becoming the score keeper’s favorite. “Sweetie you need to push that button right there to start the clock” Papi explained after about 30 seconds of his penalty expired yet the darling scorekeeper forgot to run the clock. Kid and Gracie did everything possible to get her attention however after that she was smitten for Papi. Even T mac made one more attempt to secure a few more minutes of alone time with the beauty yet was tossed for fighting. When the final horn sounded the Pigs fell to the Mavericks 4-1. After reviewing the score sheet this AM it looks like Papi’s charismatic ways with the scorekeeper paid off and it appears the Pigs were recorded as the 4-1 winners. So that’s the ole “Chip & Flow”. Nice work Papi.
Beer news: Canadians prefer to drink beer indoors while American’s like the outdoors says a group of researchers in Oakland, CA. A scientific study was conducted using beer league hockey players. Conditions were set with equally attractive alcoholic beverages available both indoors and outdoors. The indoor ambient temperate was controlled to a brisk 55 degrees F while the outdoor conditions were much more harsh at about 33 degrees F. Five of Six beer drinking Americans chose the much harsher outdoor scene while three of three Canadians selected the protected indoor environment to consume their brew. Several subjects chose to opt out of this study for fear their identities would be discovered by devoted loved ones.
An unidentifed indoor beer drinking American
A few of the more rugged oudoor beer drinking types
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
1/2/2007 Fast Eddy “hassled” by Oakland PD; Pigs win behind strong offensive defense
A dark cloud was cast over the downtown Oakland ice scene before the game as long time Pig supporter and panhandler “Fast Eddy” was rousted by Oakland PD for allegedly selling parking spots to hockey fans trying to get in to see the Pigs game. Eddy was visibly shaken after the incident but stuck around to see the Pigs win. Ed had this to say when questioned about the incident, “Naw…you guys know I’d never do that…hey you got some money so I can get a place to stay tonight?” Since 2005 the Pigs have instituted a strict “Greenspan” policy of not encouraging Ed’s panhandling. There are early reports that this policy was violated last night. An investigation is underway and violators will be dealt with appropriately and privately.
The Pigs were able to put all this drama aside and come away with a 4-3 win over the Bulldogs. The win was fueled largely by aggressive defensive play from the Lemon/Mangler tandem (1 goal, 3 assists). The game winning goal came on a power play from the shallow point off Lemon’s stick late in the 3rd…Longshore cleaned it up nicely…photos of the ice show 5 Pigs players within 1.5 meters of the crease. “We did what we had to” said the Mangler after the game on their style of blue line play. “We got beat a bunch on defense but we stuck to the plan and edged em’ out” said the Lem who was on the ice for all 7 goals scored. “Guess that makes me +1.”
Papi's Corner: Bulldogs 3rd goal was a classic (see section 7, bullet #2). I recall the Lem and Mangler picking themselves up behind our own net after the goal.
Rob: Carne Asada taco’s were fantastic. Thank you.
A dark cloud was cast over the downtown Oakland ice scene before the game as long time Pig supporter and panhandler “Fast Eddy” was rousted by Oakland PD for allegedly selling parking spots to hockey fans trying to get in to see the Pigs game. Eddy was visibly shaken after the incident but stuck around to see the Pigs win. Ed had this to say when questioned about the incident, “Naw…you guys know I’d never do that…hey you got some money so I can get a place to stay tonight?” Since 2005 the Pigs have instituted a strict “Greenspan” policy of not encouraging Ed’s panhandling. There are early reports that this policy was violated last night. An investigation is underway and violators will be dealt with appropriately and privately.
The Pigs were able to put all this drama aside and come away with a 4-3 win over the Bulldogs. The win was fueled largely by aggressive defensive play from the Lemon/Mangler tandem (1 goal, 3 assists). The game winning goal came on a power play from the shallow point off Lemon’s stick late in the 3rd…Longshore cleaned it up nicely…photos of the ice show 5 Pigs players within 1.5 meters of the crease. “We did what we had to” said the Mangler after the game on their style of blue line play. “We got beat a bunch on defense but we stuck to the plan and edged em’ out” said the Lem who was on the ice for all 7 goals scored. “Guess that makes me +1.”
Papi's Corner: Bulldogs 3rd goal was a classic (see section 7, bullet #2). I recall the Lem and Mangler picking themselves up behind our own net after the goal.
Rob: Carne Asada taco’s were fantastic. Thank you.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
12/20/2006 T-mac’s Magic Goal, Mangler forces OT, Herrick plays Hero
Forget about what really happened that night…all you need to know are the following facts:
*9 brave skaters suited up + Pipes
*T-mac scored from the top of his own circle on a 5-3 penalty kill to move the Pigs in front 2-1
*Mangler forces OT by going top shelf on Jeff giving the Black Hounds their 3rd goal late in the 3rd. Herrick glee fully cheers!
*Herrick plays hero by scoring on a t-mac rebound in OT.
A note from the Pigs “number 1*” fan below. Good luck in 2007!
*Picture from eldest McClure daughter. She has not seen a game since 2004 casting a cloud of doubt on her “#1” status. Time for daddy to bring the family out!!!!!
Forget about what really happened that night…all you need to know are the following facts:
*9 brave skaters suited up + Pipes
*T-mac scored from the top of his own circle on a 5-3 penalty kill to move the Pigs in front 2-1
*Mangler forces OT by going top shelf on Jeff giving the Black Hounds their 3rd goal late in the 3rd. Herrick glee fully cheers!
*Herrick plays hero by scoring on a t-mac rebound in OT.
A note from the Pigs “number 1*” fan below. Good luck in 2007!
*Picture from eldest McClure daughter. She has not seen a game since 2004 casting a cloud of doubt on her “#1” status. Time for daddy to bring the family out!!!!!
Friday, December 15, 2006
12/10/06: Pigs lose; Management blames the Jews.
As if the Mike Wallace interview wasn’t enough Pig management has partnered with Iran, blaming the Jews for their December 10 loss to vVault. “vVault has long time ties to Argentina, Venezuela, and Jimmy Cater said pig Captain Mac in a post game interview after the 4-2 loss. "It is clear they used their anti zionist support to gain favor with the officials" (the Pigs were victimized by 3 power play goals). With Hanukkah rapidly approaching the outlook for the Pigs does not look good. “We’ve got seven days to remain vigilant” announced an unidentified Pig elder after the game. “Our very namesake offends not only the Muslims but also the Jews.” Long time Pig "behind the scene" supporter TS (Technical Scott) is willing to put a fact finding committee together to answer the age old question: Is a Pig a really a filthy animal?
As if the Mike Wallace interview wasn’t enough Pig management has partnered with Iran, blaming the Jews for their December 10 loss to vVault. “vVault has long time ties to Argentina, Venezuela, and Jimmy Cater said pig Captain Mac in a post game interview after the 4-2 loss. "It is clear they used their anti zionist support to gain favor with the officials" (the Pigs were victimized by 3 power play goals). With Hanukkah rapidly approaching the outlook for the Pigs does not look good. “We’ve got seven days to remain vigilant” announced an unidentified Pig elder after the game. “Our very namesake offends not only the Muslims but also the Jews.” Long time Pig "behind the scene" supporter TS (Technical Scott) is willing to put a fact finding committee together to answer the age old question: Is a Pig a really a filthy animal?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
11/29/2006: Pig Victory Exposes Dark Underbelly of Pig Society
It was either the cold or a chronic case of the “Papi’s” that is causing a serious case of amnesia regarding the details of last nights hockey game. What I do recall is Papi. Papi yelling (at me). Papi screaming (at me). That’s about it. I mean I’ve got the stat sheet right in front of me detailing the Pig’s 5-1 dominance over the Black Dogs yet I can’t recall a single play…well one play comes to mind but you guessed it…it featured Papi screaming at me. Regardless how bad the play was you would expect a former Junior Hockey chumpion to help out and yell after the whistle…whatever. The good news is Papi and I are now closer than ever before and I welcome the opportunity to patrol the blue line with him again. The Papi stuff aside I think the cold exposed a side of the Pigs that we all should be ashamed of. Maybe it was the case of beer and bounty of bbq products (thanks to Dino’s sweet lawn mowing wife)…maybe it was Kramer…whatever it was the Mangler was dropping racially motivated bombs…black (jersey) this and black (grill) that. I stopped counting after the 3rd Nathan’s dog. Not sure why he had to bring race into every discussion. What would the HAW say if she found out? The more I think about things it must have been the horror of finding out that one of the Pig's nephews was hospitalized. Yeah he went in with the complaint of a “sore dick.” Doc told him to ease up (or lube up) a little if you know what I mean. Ahh to be 15 again. Things are getting better however and should he be reading this blog do not let him Click Here as it is explicit and will take you to the “come to mama” area of a well know pop artist. I warned ya.
It was either the cold or a chronic case of the “Papi’s” that is causing a serious case of amnesia regarding the details of last nights hockey game. What I do recall is Papi. Papi yelling (at me). Papi screaming (at me). That’s about it. I mean I’ve got the stat sheet right in front of me detailing the Pig’s 5-1 dominance over the Black Dogs yet I can’t recall a single play…well one play comes to mind but you guessed it…it featured Papi screaming at me. Regardless how bad the play was you would expect a former Junior Hockey chumpion to help out and yell after the whistle…whatever. The good news is Papi and I are now closer than ever before and I welcome the opportunity to patrol the blue line with him again. The Papi stuff aside I think the cold exposed a side of the Pigs that we all should be ashamed of. Maybe it was the case of beer and bounty of bbq products (thanks to Dino’s sweet lawn mowing wife)…maybe it was Kramer…whatever it was the Mangler was dropping racially motivated bombs…black (jersey) this and black (grill) that. I stopped counting after the 3rd Nathan’s dog. Not sure why he had to bring race into every discussion. What would the HAW say if she found out? The more I think about things it must have been the horror of finding out that one of the Pig's nephews was hospitalized. Yeah he went in with the complaint of a “sore dick.” Doc told him to ease up (or lube up) a little if you know what I mean. Ahh to be 15 again. Things are getting better however and should he be reading this blog do not let him Click Here as it is explicit and will take you to the “come to mama” area of a well know pop artist. I warned ya.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Well it is the 22nd of November and the Kid is a bit on the busy side with all the VAGINA in his house. The Lem aka Anal Bleacher will handle this one. Remember now I am not as talented as the Kid with the written word so be ready. The Pigs meet the new and improved "PBR" (Prostate Blowin Rimmer) in a rematch. The Pigs jump out early and often reaching there mark of 8 goals. Can you say Deja Vu! The PBR did however happen to find the back of the net a few times, Ok 3 times as much as they did before but hey who's counting. Lem was without his normal D partner Mangler as he was busy entertaing some bean counters from corporate. Rumor is they went for a rub and a tug in the city.....Can you say Penicillin. Well back to the action. T Mac and his line made there normal showing trying to make a pitch to get themselves new contracts as set forth by GM Mangler but the other lines anchored by Rob, Mac, Dino, Papi, and T Mother F!(*$% Gary showed that the Pigs are all about heart not Benjamins. Jeff put up huge numbers in net keeping it a landslide victory for the Balck, Red and White. Jeff was heard during the 2nd intermission as saying "if you guys don't mind would you keep em off of me after the 6th rebound. Kid and Lem did their best to comply but with a little brain fart let one guy by with not so much as a blink. Well lets keep it going on the 28th my boys and I think I will be able to pull Mangler off the H.A.W but word is she is working on a new novel titled "Secrets of the Keggles" and is still in the research mode and you all know what that means........No legs for Mangler.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
11/8/2006: Pickled Pigs, Carl Brewer
Pigs didn’t bring their “A” Tuesday night as the Prairie Dogs feasted on bacon sandwiches all night to the taste of a 6-3 win. 40+ year old sub Diamond Dave Roth and his bloodied “beak” wasn’t enough to keep the Pigs out of trouble. “I could smell the booze on him in the locker room before we suited up…he was hammered” said 1st line Defenseman Lemon. Double D’s vision was good enough to one time a perfect Mac (originally thought to be Papi however Papi was too busy checking Kids stick for wear and tear) pass to give the Pigs their first goal. Pitt’s schizophrenia surfaced briefly late in the first period as he was observed yelling at himself…the outburst will likely cost him the Lady Byng this year. If you look close at the picture you might be able to see Pitt’s alter ego…the feared no fat, chicken turkey hot dog smoking Puck Pig. Suuuwei!!!
The most important part of the night however was after the game when Papi took the Kid aside in a moment that would have made Ex-Pig Captain/coach Greenspan smile. You see the Kid missed a few passes, got burned a couple times, and even goalie Jeff politely said “let’s not let that happen again.” Papi sat the Kid down saying “You know who Carl Brewer is?” Well here is Carl’s story:
Carl Brewer was an integral part of the Tronoto Leaf’s 1962, 1963, 1964 Stanely Cup Championship teams. He was always different, known for cutting the palms of his gloves out so he could hold his stick shaft with his bare hands. In 1963 he hired agent Alan Eagleson who would prove to be Brewer’s nemesis. The Eagle soon became the top agent in the game and became the head of the NHL players association. Carl stopped playing in 1980. Soon after retirement he came to realize the Eagleson betrayed not only his trust but also the trust of every player in the NHL with regard player pensions. Brewer’s quest for Justice against Eagleson came to a head in 1991 when Brewer filed a lawsuit against the NHL to recover missing pension money and in 1994 the courts sided with Carl. In 1998 Eagleson was fined and sent to prison. “I just want to thank God for the United States of America because none of this would have occurred in Canada” he said after the verdict. This was Carl’s finest moment. None of this has anything to do with Papi’s sit down. You see Papi asked the Kid to bring his stick over. Looking at the wear pattern he said “you see the stick is worn here at the heal…you need a lower lie (angle between the blade and the shaft)…like Carl Brewer.” You see our hero Carl was known for skating low to the ice and carrying the puck out in front. Lies normally range from 4 to 8 yet Carl needed a 3. “Kid you need a 3.”
There you have it. Next game: Thursday, November 16, @ 10:15 against PBR.
Pigs didn’t bring their “A” Tuesday night as the Prairie Dogs feasted on bacon sandwiches all night to the taste of a 6-3 win. 40+ year old sub Diamond Dave Roth and his bloodied “beak” wasn’t enough to keep the Pigs out of trouble. “I could smell the booze on him in the locker room before we suited up…he was hammered” said 1st line Defenseman Lemon. Double D’s vision was good enough to one time a perfect Mac (originally thought to be Papi however Papi was too busy checking Kids stick for wear and tear) pass to give the Pigs their first goal. Pitt’s schizophrenia surfaced briefly late in the first period as he was observed yelling at himself…the outburst will likely cost him the Lady Byng this year. If you look close at the picture you might be able to see Pitt’s alter ego…the feared no fat, chicken turkey hot dog smoking Puck Pig. Suuuwei!!!
The most important part of the night however was after the game when Papi took the Kid aside in a moment that would have made Ex-Pig Captain/coach Greenspan smile. You see the Kid missed a few passes, got burned a couple times, and even goalie Jeff politely said “let’s not let that happen again.” Papi sat the Kid down saying “You know who Carl Brewer is?” Well here is Carl’s story:
Carl Brewer was an integral part of the Tronoto Leaf’s 1962, 1963, 1964 Stanely Cup Championship teams. He was always different, known for cutting the palms of his gloves out so he could hold his stick shaft with his bare hands. In 1963 he hired agent Alan Eagleson who would prove to be Brewer’s nemesis. The Eagle soon became the top agent in the game and became the head of the NHL players association. Carl stopped playing in 1980. Soon after retirement he came to realize the Eagleson betrayed not only his trust but also the trust of every player in the NHL with regard player pensions. Brewer’s quest for Justice against Eagleson came to a head in 1991 when Brewer filed a lawsuit against the NHL to recover missing pension money and in 1994 the courts sided with Carl. In 1998 Eagleson was fined and sent to prison. “I just want to thank God for the United States of America because none of this would have occurred in Canada” he said after the verdict. This was Carl’s finest moment. None of this has anything to do with Papi’s sit down. You see Papi asked the Kid to bring his stick over. Looking at the wear pattern he said “you see the stick is worn here at the heal…you need a lower lie (angle between the blade and the shaft)…like Carl Brewer.” You see our hero Carl was known for skating low to the ice and carrying the puck out in front. Lies normally range from 4 to 8 yet Carl needed a 3. “Kid you need a 3.”
There you have it. Next game: Thursday, November 16, @ 10:15 against PBR.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
10/24/2006: 2006-7 Season Opener “More Cowbell”
Pigs opened the 2006-7 Winter season against Pabst Blue Ribbon. Naw this team was not coached or managed by Frank Booth (the manic Dennis Hopper from “Blue Velvet”) nor did the squad go Turrets on us with cute quotes from the movie “"Heineken? Fuck that shit! … PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!" They did have PBR jerseys however I don’t think they were a sponsored club. Anyway…PBR stunned the Oakland hockey world by scoring :37 into the 1st period. This was about all they did. ...
(Kids mind starts to wander...Must have been because the ice was not that cold. Everyone knows that PBR must be cold, icy cold in fact. As it worms, PBR molecules tend to bond with ambient urine molecules in the atmosphere, making it taste like Brooklyn Pilsner. There is a certain retro coolness to be found in standing behind the Red, White, and Blue of PBR. Really though…who if anyone still drinks PBR these days?” Who even knows where to find it? Maybe in one of the beer stores that Vitts talks about up in Canada? Imagine how cool you’ll be, and how much money you could save for that dream grill you've longed for, as you suck down a few cans after the game. Other teams will gawk with envy as they sip on their warm, flat, Coors Lights. Wait the Pigs like Coors Light and we have a kick ass grill. Kid snaps out of it).
...The next 44+ minutes were all about the Turtle and his trusty cowbell. It was really like the poor fella had a fever and the only prescription was more cowbell.
Nobody knows this better than Papi who racked up 11 PIMs (all in the offensive zone I might add…no wait that is not true...he broke #21 PBRs stick at center ice...also the score sheet shows an additional game misconduct recorded after the game ended????). Cowbell aside the Pigs went on to dominate, scoring 8 unanswerd goals to win the opener 8-1. Usual suspects of TMac & Mac doing most of the damage (Vitts decided to damage his goin). Even hero firefighter Lemon was able to make the 3rd period after hanging with his Contra Costa fire team on the NHL side. Thanks Lem!
Quote of the night: "Lets just say it ain't gonna get any better" - Papi to Vitts when asked if nagging from girls abates post marrage.
Pigs opened the 2006-7 Winter season against Pabst Blue Ribbon. Naw this team was not coached or managed by Frank Booth (the manic Dennis Hopper from “Blue Velvet”) nor did the squad go Turrets on us with cute quotes from the movie “"Heineken? Fuck that shit! … PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!" They did have PBR jerseys however I don’t think they were a sponsored club. Anyway…PBR stunned the Oakland hockey world by scoring :37 into the 1st period. This was about all they did. ...
(Kids mind starts to wander...Must have been because the ice was not that cold. Everyone knows that PBR must be cold, icy cold in fact. As it worms, PBR molecules tend to bond with ambient urine molecules in the atmosphere, making it taste like Brooklyn Pilsner. There is a certain retro coolness to be found in standing behind the Red, White, and Blue of PBR. Really though…who if anyone still drinks PBR these days?” Who even knows where to find it? Maybe in one of the beer stores that Vitts talks about up in Canada? Imagine how cool you’ll be, and how much money you could save for that dream grill you've longed for, as you suck down a few cans after the game. Other teams will gawk with envy as they sip on their warm, flat, Coors Lights. Wait the Pigs like Coors Light and we have a kick ass grill. Kid snaps out of it).
...The next 44+ minutes were all about the Turtle and his trusty cowbell. It was really like the poor fella had a fever and the only prescription was more cowbell.
Nobody knows this better than Papi who racked up 11 PIMs (all in the offensive zone I might add…no wait that is not true...he broke #21 PBRs stick at center ice...also the score sheet shows an additional game misconduct recorded after the game ended????). Cowbell aside the Pigs went on to dominate, scoring 8 unanswerd goals to win the opener 8-1. Usual suspects of TMac & Mac doing most of the damage (Vitts decided to damage his goin). Even hero firefighter Lemon was able to make the 3rd period after hanging with his Contra Costa fire team on the NHL side. Thanks Lem!
Quote of the night: "Lets just say it ain't gonna get any better" - Papi to Vitts when asked if nagging from girls abates post marrage.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
ABP: Stinky Smelly Hockey Bag
From our PPG leader Pittsberg Justin. Perhaps in the future you could contract with Vitts to keep a close eye on your goods. I hear he is quite good with a gun.
E-mail from Pitt (10/16/06)
So a couple of nights ago I decided it was probably time to get my hockey bag out of the trunk of my car as it had been left in there since our last game. It was a little confusing at first when I didn't see the bag in my trunk. But after 5 minutes of incredulous denial I let myself believe that some fuck broke into my car, found nothing of value in the glove compartment, pulled the trunk latch, and hauled my sweaty hockey gear away with him. Alright, so i'm being discriminating: It could have been a girl. Anyway, I think i'm going to host one of those 'end-of-an-eighties-movie' community dance offs to raise money so I can buy new equipment, but until I get the proper city permits in place, I might be out of commission for a while. All of this was typed on my treo, so apologies for any spelling errors.
later,
Justin
From our PPG leader Pittsberg Justin. Perhaps in the future you could contract with Vitts to keep a close eye on your goods. I hear he is quite good with a gun.
E-mail from Pitt (10/16/06)
So a couple of nights ago I decided it was probably time to get my hockey bag out of the trunk of my car as it had been left in there since our last game. It was a little confusing at first when I didn't see the bag in my trunk. But after 5 minutes of incredulous denial I let myself believe that some fuck broke into my car, found nothing of value in the glove compartment, pulled the trunk latch, and hauled my sweaty hockey gear away with him. Alright, so i'm being discriminating: It could have been a girl. Anyway, I think i'm going to host one of those 'end-of-an-eighties-movie' community dance offs to raise money so I can buy new equipment, but until I get the proper city permits in place, I might be out of commission for a while. All of this was typed on my treo, so apologies for any spelling errors.
later,
Justin
Friday, October 13, 2006
A few notes and messages from the squad:
A message from Tall Gary's former Youth Hockey Coach, Jules Winnfield. "Just cause you look like the Gimp don't mean you have to play like the Gimp." Enjoy the video.
Winter Season Creed (thank you Lemon):
I,________, promise never to be outhustled. I will play both ends of the ice, fight for every loose puck. I will sacrifice my body for my team. I will always choose grit over flash, substance over style. I will work, and sweat, and suffer, so that-come game time-my team can shine. I am a PUCK PIG hockey player!
Pig Addendums (thank you Longshore):
If I am the puppet - I will not forget to bring the meat.
If I am the bitch - I will not forget to bring the beer.
And the Herrick clause:
I will not shoot on my own goalie.
And the Lemon clause (Kid edit from Longshore's original):
I will make a break-out pass up the middle of the ice (as that is were the forward should be).
I will not pass to an opposing high slot player (Lemon Drop).
And the Dino clause:
I will choose hockey over Oprah.
As well as the Mac clause:
I will choose hockey over Fleetwood Mac.
And the Frasier clause:
I will stay off my damn motorcycle.
And the Mangler clause:
I will choose hockey over the HAW.
Finally the Longshore clause:
I will not take offensive zone penalties
I will not pick on guys bigger than me.
I will get a tatoo on my ass that says "it's never to late to get back on defense."
A message from Tall Gary's former Youth Hockey Coach, Jules Winnfield. "Just cause you look like the Gimp don't mean you have to play like the Gimp." Enjoy the video.
Winter Season Creed (thank you Lemon):
I,________, promise never to be outhustled. I will play both ends of the ice, fight for every loose puck. I will sacrifice my body for my team. I will always choose grit over flash, substance over style. I will work, and sweat, and suffer, so that-come game time-my team can shine. I am a PUCK PIG hockey player!
Pig Addendums (thank you Longshore):
If I am the puppet - I will not forget to bring the meat.
If I am the bitch - I will not forget to bring the beer.
And the Herrick clause:
I will not shoot on my own goalie.
And the Lemon clause (Kid edit from Longshore's original):
I will make a break-out pass up the middle of the ice (as that is were the forward should be).
I will not pass to an opposing high slot player (Lemon Drop).
And the Dino clause:
I will choose hockey over Oprah.
As well as the Mac clause:
I will choose hockey over Fleetwood Mac.
And the Frasier clause:
I will stay off my damn motorcycle.
And the Mangler clause:
I will choose hockey over the HAW.
Finally the Longshore clause:
I will not take offensive zone penalties
I will not pick on guys bigger than me.
I will get a tatoo on my ass that says "it's never to late to get back on defense."
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Click below for the Original Star Wars Kid (watch em all they are very funny). Vitts: this you back in High School?
The Original Star Wars Kid
Lemon: A challenge to you and your brother to try and top Mac.
Note: Kid has edited Mac's orignal post to add bells, whistles, Vitts, and Lemon. Mac...apologies for not adding the history to my post below. I figured everyone knew about the Original Star Wars kid. I will do more research to confirm my hypothesis that the Orignal Star Wars kid is in fact the Pigs very own Slap Shot Rob.
_______
The Original Star Wars Kid
Lemon: A challenge to you and your brother to try and top Mac.
Note: Kid has edited Mac's orignal post to add bells, whistles, Vitts, and Lemon. Mac...apologies for not adding the history to my post below. I figured everyone knew about the Original Star Wars kid. I will do more research to confirm my hypothesis that the Orignal Star Wars kid is in fact the Pigs very own Slap Shot Rob.
_______
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Terrapin Trumps Swine: Prairie Dogs Advance to the Finals
10/4/2006 (Oakland, CA) The 2006 Pig Summer season came to a screeching halt last night after a heartbreaking shootout loss to the Prairie Dogs. “If only Dale were here” Rosie mused before the game upon seeing that the inept and consistently horrendous referee known simply as the ‘turtle’ was in line to call the semi final game between the Pigs and the Dogs (Long time Pig fans remember Dale’s “in the crease” call against Reno’s finest Greg Marsella to end the Pigs 2002 season). After the Pigs took an early 1-0 lead the Dogs responded with authority scoring 4 1st period goals. A fired up Pig squad went on a 20 shot, 3 goal 2nd period rampage to knot things up @ 4 through two. Dogs opened the 3rd with a fancy: 07 goal to take a 5-4 lead. With time running out Team Captain Mac rallied the troops with a TO. “OK let’s get an all-star line on the ice…and Kid you can stay out there as well (thanks Mac).” The all-stars + Kid did as they were instructed and apparently scored the game tying goal with about 5 minutes to play. The team celebration abruptly ended about 20 seconds after it started with the ‘Turtle” calling for a faceoff in the zone…a classic Turtle call). “The Kids shot rested at least a foot over the goal line” LW standout Pittsburg Justin who had a birds eye view from the left goal post recalled after the game. Regardless the Pigs rallied once again with a fantastic game tying T-Mac goal with about 3 minutes on the clock. Even better Longshore buried the go ahead goal with the clock winding down. The Dogs forced OT with a timely 14:15 high slot turkey shoot shot. I should mention that the Mangler was asked to leave the ice for exceeding the allotted number of penalties and for not bringing his HAW to the game. The overtime period featured 5:00 of play from 1979 Canadian Junior hockey standout Papi who momentarily forgot how to change lines. No score in the OT period forcing a shootout.
Shootout summary
Dogs#74…stoned by Jeff.
Mac…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#5…goal.
Pitt…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#20…stoned by Jeff (and his pile of snow in the slot trick)
Vitts…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Pigs hit the showers.
Pig Nation post game highlighted by Lemon’s fantastic 5 star BBQ Tri-Tip sambo’s, salad, and more. Thank you Lemon.
2006 Awards
Jack Adams: best coach. Winner: David Greenspan This is David's second ‘straight’ Adams award since leaving the team in 2005.
Georges Vezina: best goalie. Winner: Jeff. Jeff outperformed the subs and his peers this season with a career best 90.4 save percentage and 11 wins. Nice work Pipes.
Heart: team MVP. Winner: T-Mac Mac graciously gives last years award to the new Mac…TMac is the man. Nobody can be sure exactly how many of the 19 goals and 11 assists belong Papi however we can all agree it was less than 2.
Bill Masterton Memorial: the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. Winner: Dino. Second straight for Dino. The guy never gives up (except in the playoffs when Oprah takes priority).
Lester B. Pearson: most outstanding player. Winner: Pittsburg Justin . Justin got edged out last year however this season Justin’s 2.0 PPG makes him a must play every week. He has been signed to a long term contract that includes Asian incentives.
Calder: Most proficient in 1st year on the Pigs. Winner: Vitts. The guys a ‘nut’ but brings the thunder. Welcome to the squad Vitts.
Da Byng: Gentleman. Winner: JustinNice work.
Maurice Richard. Top Goal scorer. Winner: T-Mac (17 ish)
Selke: Forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. Winner: Herrick. Every skater on the ice should say to themselves "it's never to late to get back on D".
King Clancy: Player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made noteworthy humanitarian contributions. Winner: Mangler top notch recruiting Jackie!
Norris: Defensive player who demonstrates the greatest all-around ability. Winner: Gracie is the clear winner with 1 G, 9 A, and 18 PIMs.
Ross: Pts leader. Winner: T-Mac (25 ish)
Conn Smythe: MVP of the playoffs...Winner: T-mac. Too bad we missed the opportunity to give the rookie a Mohawk!
Great Season Pigs….see you all for Winter 2006-7.
10/4/2006 (Oakland, CA) The 2006 Pig Summer season came to a screeching halt last night after a heartbreaking shootout loss to the Prairie Dogs. “If only Dale were here” Rosie mused before the game upon seeing that the inept and consistently horrendous referee known simply as the ‘turtle’ was in line to call the semi final game between the Pigs and the Dogs (Long time Pig fans remember Dale’s “in the crease” call against Reno’s finest Greg Marsella to end the Pigs 2002 season). After the Pigs took an early 1-0 lead the Dogs responded with authority scoring 4 1st period goals. A fired up Pig squad went on a 20 shot, 3 goal 2nd period rampage to knot things up @ 4 through two. Dogs opened the 3rd with a fancy: 07 goal to take a 5-4 lead. With time running out Team Captain Mac rallied the troops with a TO. “OK let’s get an all-star line on the ice…and Kid you can stay out there as well (thanks Mac).” The all-stars + Kid did as they were instructed and apparently scored the game tying goal with about 5 minutes to play. The team celebration abruptly ended about 20 seconds after it started with the ‘Turtle” calling for a faceoff in the zone…a classic Turtle call). “The Kids shot rested at least a foot over the goal line” LW standout Pittsburg Justin who had a birds eye view from the left goal post recalled after the game. Regardless the Pigs rallied once again with a fantastic game tying T-Mac goal with about 3 minutes on the clock. Even better Longshore buried the go ahead goal with the clock winding down. The Dogs forced OT with a timely 14:15 high slot turkey shoot shot. I should mention that the Mangler was asked to leave the ice for exceeding the allotted number of penalties and for not bringing his HAW to the game. The overtime period featured 5:00 of play from 1979 Canadian Junior hockey standout Papi who momentarily forgot how to change lines. No score in the OT period forcing a shootout.
Shootout summary
Dogs#74…stoned by Jeff.
Mac…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#5…goal.
Pitt…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#20…stoned by Jeff (and his pile of snow in the slot trick)
Vitts…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Pigs hit the showers.
Pig Nation post game highlighted by Lemon’s fantastic 5 star BBQ Tri-Tip sambo’s, salad, and more. Thank you Lemon.
2006 Awards
Jack Adams: best coach. Winner: David Greenspan This is David's second ‘straight’ Adams award since leaving the team in 2005.
Georges Vezina: best goalie. Winner: Jeff. Jeff outperformed the subs and his peers this season with a career best 90.4 save percentage and 11 wins. Nice work Pipes.
Heart: team MVP. Winner: T-Mac Mac graciously gives last years award to the new Mac…TMac is the man. Nobody can be sure exactly how many of the 19 goals and 11 assists belong Papi however we can all agree it was less than 2.
Bill Masterton Memorial: the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. Winner: Dino. Second straight for Dino. The guy never gives up (except in the playoffs when Oprah takes priority).
Lester B. Pearson: most outstanding player. Winner: Pittsburg Justin . Justin got edged out last year however this season Justin’s 2.0 PPG makes him a must play every week. He has been signed to a long term contract that includes Asian incentives.
Calder: Most proficient in 1st year on the Pigs. Winner: Vitts. The guys a ‘nut’ but brings the thunder. Welcome to the squad Vitts.
Da Byng: Gentleman. Winner: JustinNice work.
Maurice Richard. Top Goal scorer. Winner: T-Mac (17 ish)
Selke: Forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. Winner: Herrick. Every skater on the ice should say to themselves "it's never to late to get back on D".
King Clancy: Player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made noteworthy humanitarian contributions. Winner: Mangler top notch recruiting Jackie!
Norris: Defensive player who demonstrates the greatest all-around ability. Winner: Gracie is the clear winner with 1 G, 9 A, and 18 PIMs.
Ross: Pts leader. Winner: T-Mac (25 ish)
Conn Smythe: MVP of the playoffs...Winner: T-mac. Too bad we missed the opportunity to give the rookie a Mohawk!
Great Season Pigs….see you all for Winter 2006-7.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Pigs Advance to Semis; Vitts completes Sexual Harassment Training; Oprah looms large
Twenty seven seconds is all it took for Line 1 (T-mac, Dennis, Pitt) and the Pigs to wrap this one up with a pair of goals on their 1st shift. When the final horn sounded the scoreboard showed 5-1 and the Pigs advance to the semi’s Tuesday night @ 8:45.
It was clear that something was different about Slap Shot Rob (Vitts) as his style of play seemed somewhat emasculated. It wasn’t until after the game he confessed to having successfully completed sexual harassment training last week after the scandalous Mr. Peanut incident. Pig Management is discussing putting all players through this course after Mangler’s salacious hit from behind against an unsuspecting Greyhound. Numerous studies have concluded that folks perceive these types of hits to be gay whether or not the actual hit had any homosexual intent. Perception is everything and Pig Management is concerned.
Finally to reach out to our female Pig nation members Dino has taken it upon himself to partner with Oprah. Each week Dino will bring the Nation an Oprah reading assignment and host a book club discussion. Dino will not be at Tuesday's game as he is personally meeting with Oprah to discuss next weeks book.
Click Here for Stats through round 2!!!
Twenty seven seconds is all it took for Line 1 (T-mac, Dennis, Pitt) and the Pigs to wrap this one up with a pair of goals on their 1st shift. When the final horn sounded the scoreboard showed 5-1 and the Pigs advance to the semi’s Tuesday night @ 8:45.
It was clear that something was different about Slap Shot Rob (Vitts) as his style of play seemed somewhat emasculated. It wasn’t until after the game he confessed to having successfully completed sexual harassment training last week after the scandalous Mr. Peanut incident. Pig Management is discussing putting all players through this course after Mangler’s salacious hit from behind against an unsuspecting Greyhound. Numerous studies have concluded that folks perceive these types of hits to be gay whether or not the actual hit had any homosexual intent. Perception is everything and Pig Management is concerned.
Finally to reach out to our female Pig nation members Dino has taken it upon himself to partner with Oprah. Each week Dino will bring the Nation an Oprah reading assignment and host a book club discussion. Dino will not be at Tuesday's game as he is personally meeting with Oprah to discuss next weeks book.
Click Here for Stats through round 2!!!
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