Click below for the Original Star Wars Kid (watch em all they are very funny). Vitts: this you back in High School?
The Original Star Wars Kid
Lemon: A challenge to you and your brother to try and top Mac.
Note: Kid has edited Mac's orignal post to add bells, whistles, Vitts, and Lemon. Mac...apologies for not adding the history to my post below. I figured everyone knew about the Original Star Wars kid. I will do more research to confirm my hypothesis that the Orignal Star Wars kid is in fact the Pigs very own Slap Shot Rob.
_______
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Terrapin Trumps Swine: Prairie Dogs Advance to the Finals
10/4/2006 (Oakland, CA) The 2006 Pig Summer season came to a screeching halt last night after a heartbreaking shootout loss to the Prairie Dogs. “If only Dale were here” Rosie mused before the game upon seeing that the inept and consistently horrendous referee known simply as the ‘turtle’ was in line to call the semi final game between the Pigs and the Dogs (Long time Pig fans remember Dale’s “in the crease” call against Reno’s finest Greg Marsella to end the Pigs 2002 season). After the Pigs took an early 1-0 lead the Dogs responded with authority scoring 4 1st period goals. A fired up Pig squad went on a 20 shot, 3 goal 2nd period rampage to knot things up @ 4 through two. Dogs opened the 3rd with a fancy: 07 goal to take a 5-4 lead. With time running out Team Captain Mac rallied the troops with a TO. “OK let’s get an all-star line on the ice…and Kid you can stay out there as well (thanks Mac).” The all-stars + Kid did as they were instructed and apparently scored the game tying goal with about 5 minutes to play. The team celebration abruptly ended about 20 seconds after it started with the ‘Turtle” calling for a faceoff in the zone…a classic Turtle call). “The Kids shot rested at least a foot over the goal line” LW standout Pittsburg Justin who had a birds eye view from the left goal post recalled after the game. Regardless the Pigs rallied once again with a fantastic game tying T-Mac goal with about 3 minutes on the clock. Even better Longshore buried the go ahead goal with the clock winding down. The Dogs forced OT with a timely 14:15 high slot turkey shoot shot. I should mention that the Mangler was asked to leave the ice for exceeding the allotted number of penalties and for not bringing his HAW to the game. The overtime period featured 5:00 of play from 1979 Canadian Junior hockey standout Papi who momentarily forgot how to change lines. No score in the OT period forcing a shootout.
Shootout summary
Dogs#74…stoned by Jeff.
Mac…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#5…goal.
Pitt…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#20…stoned by Jeff (and his pile of snow in the slot trick)
Vitts…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Pigs hit the showers.
Pig Nation post game highlighted by Lemon’s fantastic 5 star BBQ Tri-Tip sambo’s, salad, and more. Thank you Lemon.
2006 Awards
Jack Adams: best coach. Winner: David Greenspan This is David's second ‘straight’ Adams award since leaving the team in 2005.
Georges Vezina: best goalie. Winner: Jeff. Jeff outperformed the subs and his peers this season with a career best 90.4 save percentage and 11 wins. Nice work Pipes.
Heart: team MVP. Winner: T-Mac Mac graciously gives last years award to the new Mac…TMac is the man. Nobody can be sure exactly how many of the 19 goals and 11 assists belong Papi however we can all agree it was less than 2.
Bill Masterton Memorial: the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. Winner: Dino. Second straight for Dino. The guy never gives up (except in the playoffs when Oprah takes priority).
Lester B. Pearson: most outstanding player. Winner: Pittsburg Justin . Justin got edged out last year however this season Justin’s 2.0 PPG makes him a must play every week. He has been signed to a long term contract that includes Asian incentives.
Calder: Most proficient in 1st year on the Pigs. Winner: Vitts. The guys a ‘nut’ but brings the thunder. Welcome to the squad Vitts.
Da Byng: Gentleman. Winner: JustinNice work.
Maurice Richard. Top Goal scorer. Winner: T-Mac (17 ish)
Selke: Forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. Winner: Herrick. Every skater on the ice should say to themselves "it's never to late to get back on D".
King Clancy: Player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made noteworthy humanitarian contributions. Winner: Mangler top notch recruiting Jackie!
Norris: Defensive player who demonstrates the greatest all-around ability. Winner: Gracie is the clear winner with 1 G, 9 A, and 18 PIMs.
Ross: Pts leader. Winner: T-Mac (25 ish)
Conn Smythe: MVP of the playoffs...Winner: T-mac. Too bad we missed the opportunity to give the rookie a Mohawk!
Great Season Pigs….see you all for Winter 2006-7.
10/4/2006 (Oakland, CA) The 2006 Pig Summer season came to a screeching halt last night after a heartbreaking shootout loss to the Prairie Dogs. “If only Dale were here” Rosie mused before the game upon seeing that the inept and consistently horrendous referee known simply as the ‘turtle’ was in line to call the semi final game between the Pigs and the Dogs (Long time Pig fans remember Dale’s “in the crease” call against Reno’s finest Greg Marsella to end the Pigs 2002 season). After the Pigs took an early 1-0 lead the Dogs responded with authority scoring 4 1st period goals. A fired up Pig squad went on a 20 shot, 3 goal 2nd period rampage to knot things up @ 4 through two. Dogs opened the 3rd with a fancy: 07 goal to take a 5-4 lead. With time running out Team Captain Mac rallied the troops with a TO. “OK let’s get an all-star line on the ice…and Kid you can stay out there as well (thanks Mac).” The all-stars + Kid did as they were instructed and apparently scored the game tying goal with about 5 minutes to play. The team celebration abruptly ended about 20 seconds after it started with the ‘Turtle” calling for a faceoff in the zone…a classic Turtle call). “The Kids shot rested at least a foot over the goal line” LW standout Pittsburg Justin who had a birds eye view from the left goal post recalled after the game. Regardless the Pigs rallied once again with a fantastic game tying T-Mac goal with about 3 minutes on the clock. Even better Longshore buried the go ahead goal with the clock winding down. The Dogs forced OT with a timely 14:15 high slot turkey shoot shot. I should mention that the Mangler was asked to leave the ice for exceeding the allotted number of penalties and for not bringing his HAW to the game. The overtime period featured 5:00 of play from 1979 Canadian Junior hockey standout Papi who momentarily forgot how to change lines. No score in the OT period forcing a shootout.
Shootout summary
Dogs#74…stoned by Jeff.
Mac…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#5…goal.
Pitt…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Dogs#20…stoned by Jeff (and his pile of snow in the slot trick)
Vitts…stoned by Dogs net minder.
Pigs hit the showers.
Pig Nation post game highlighted by Lemon’s fantastic 5 star BBQ Tri-Tip sambo’s, salad, and more. Thank you Lemon.
2006 Awards
Jack Adams: best coach. Winner: David Greenspan This is David's second ‘straight’ Adams award since leaving the team in 2005.
Georges Vezina: best goalie. Winner: Jeff. Jeff outperformed the subs and his peers this season with a career best 90.4 save percentage and 11 wins. Nice work Pipes.
Heart: team MVP. Winner: T-Mac Mac graciously gives last years award to the new Mac…TMac is the man. Nobody can be sure exactly how many of the 19 goals and 11 assists belong Papi however we can all agree it was less than 2.
Bill Masterton Memorial: the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. Winner: Dino. Second straight for Dino. The guy never gives up (except in the playoffs when Oprah takes priority).
Lester B. Pearson: most outstanding player. Winner: Pittsburg Justin . Justin got edged out last year however this season Justin’s 2.0 PPG makes him a must play every week. He has been signed to a long term contract that includes Asian incentives.
Calder: Most proficient in 1st year on the Pigs. Winner: Vitts. The guys a ‘nut’ but brings the thunder. Welcome to the squad Vitts.
Da Byng: Gentleman. Winner: JustinNice work.
Maurice Richard. Top Goal scorer. Winner: T-Mac (17 ish)
Selke: Forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. Winner: Herrick. Every skater on the ice should say to themselves "it's never to late to get back on D".
King Clancy: Player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made noteworthy humanitarian contributions. Winner: Mangler top notch recruiting Jackie!
Norris: Defensive player who demonstrates the greatest all-around ability. Winner: Gracie is the clear winner with 1 G, 9 A, and 18 PIMs.
Ross: Pts leader. Winner: T-Mac (25 ish)
Conn Smythe: MVP of the playoffs...Winner: T-mac. Too bad we missed the opportunity to give the rookie a Mohawk!
Great Season Pigs….see you all for Winter 2006-7.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Pigs Advance to Semis; Vitts completes Sexual Harassment Training; Oprah looms large
Twenty seven seconds is all it took for Line 1 (T-mac, Dennis, Pitt) and the Pigs to wrap this one up with a pair of goals on their 1st shift. When the final horn sounded the scoreboard showed 5-1 and the Pigs advance to the semi’s Tuesday night @ 8:45.
It was clear that something was different about Slap Shot Rob (Vitts) as his style of play seemed somewhat emasculated. It wasn’t until after the game he confessed to having successfully completed sexual harassment training last week after the scandalous Mr. Peanut incident. Pig Management is discussing putting all players through this course after Mangler’s salacious hit from behind against an unsuspecting Greyhound. Numerous studies have concluded that folks perceive these types of hits to be gay whether or not the actual hit had any homosexual intent. Perception is everything and Pig Management is concerned.
Finally to reach out to our female Pig nation members Dino has taken it upon himself to partner with Oprah. Each week Dino will bring the Nation an Oprah reading assignment and host a book club discussion. Dino will not be at Tuesday's game as he is personally meeting with Oprah to discuss next weeks book.
Click Here for Stats through round 2!!!
Twenty seven seconds is all it took for Line 1 (T-mac, Dennis, Pitt) and the Pigs to wrap this one up with a pair of goals on their 1st shift. When the final horn sounded the scoreboard showed 5-1 and the Pigs advance to the semi’s Tuesday night @ 8:45.
It was clear that something was different about Slap Shot Rob (Vitts) as his style of play seemed somewhat emasculated. It wasn’t until after the game he confessed to having successfully completed sexual harassment training last week after the scandalous Mr. Peanut incident. Pig Management is discussing putting all players through this course after Mangler’s salacious hit from behind against an unsuspecting Greyhound. Numerous studies have concluded that folks perceive these types of hits to be gay whether or not the actual hit had any homosexual intent. Perception is everything and Pig Management is concerned.
Finally to reach out to our female Pig nation members Dino has taken it upon himself to partner with Oprah. Each week Dino will bring the Nation an Oprah reading assignment and host a book club discussion. Dino will not be at Tuesday's game as he is personally meeting with Oprah to discuss next weeks book.
Click Here for Stats through round 2!!!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
A look back at 1998-99 Championship season. Who remembers the magical #1 line of Obus, Kid, Mac (39 G, 41 A, 44 PIMs)? The number 2 line anchored by Rosie and Dino (and Marks) were no slouches either (29 G, 30 A, 26 PIMs). Shout outs to the D (Fraser, Lemon, Gordie, Marsella, & Merrill) for putting up with Aprilie's shit in the net. Back then Longshore anchored the "checking" line...how times have changed.
I'm telling you 2006 is Longshore's year!!!
I'm telling you 2006 is Longshore's year!!!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
9/25/2006: Pigs Advance in Round 1; Vitts gets hit
No it wasn't the Hanson brothers from Slap Shot but it was Pigs playoff Hockey. A fired up Pigs squad sodomized (this was Mangler’s choice of words not mine) the visiting Black Dogs 10-2 Sunday night to advance to the second round. Outside of the lopsided score, things were low key until 10:37 into the 3rd period when Black Ice #27 took a two handed tomahawk stick chop to the back of newly dubbed “butter balls” Vits’ head. “I told him to hit me however I was expecting him to drop the gloves." Vitts seemed fine after the game and cheerfully told the squad tales from last weekends bachelor party complete with guys jumping off 2nd story balconies, taking local strippers to the wedding as dates, and defacating in his buddies hotel bed as a prank. While none of that came off as looney the following picture surfaced earlier this morning. Not wanting to jeopardize round two the team Elders briefly met this morning and decided to have Vitts committed. He is expected to make a full recovery and start Sunday night.
Friday, September 22, 2006
9/19/2006: Regular Season Ends; Fraser in Drag
What you need to know:
Pigs clubhouse a 13-4 record and enter the playoffs as the #2 team. With Fraser out of the game and recuperating from a severe RPG recoil head injury he received last week at the hands of the Al Quida taliban tribesmen in Afghanistan, Rookie T-Mac got the starting call at RW. This was just his 3rd start since turning 21 and the rookie took advantage of the ice time scoring a pair of goals including a bitch slap tally with: 11 seconds to play. “I’ve carried a lot of clipboards for some great forwards awaiting my chance to start, but Fraser is my hero…looks at that ass!” As a starter before this game he had recorded 12 goals and 5 assists.
The Pig’s defensive game appears to be on track heading into the playoffs. Jeff was his usual dominating self between the pipes, plucking pucks from an aggressive Black Ice squad finishing with 27 saves and recording his 11th win.
What you ought to know:
Longshore: 15 GP, 19 G, 11 A, 30 Pts, 8 PIMs: Damn…who is this guy? Longshore hasn’t been this productive since the 1984 air guitar championship where his Eddie Van Halen “Panama” routine was good enough for 2nd place. Well done.
Pittsberg Justin: 9 GP, 11 G, 7 A, 18 Pts, 0 PIMs: Forget the Byng this guy is hands down a PPG monster (2.00). If we could just get him to show up more often and bring beer once in while our GM may hook him up with a HAG.
Pipes: 15 GP, .904 SV%, 2.53 GAA, 11 W, 1 SHO: All career bests. In his spare time he clandestinely rallied against Ahmadinejad in NYC after the game. In short a modern Resonance man.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Sept 13, 2006
The Pigs win their 4th in a row while Harvard sat silent as Khatami defended the execution of homosexuals (Mangler: at this time the Metrosexual lifestyle is not subject to these harsh penalties). "A win is a win yet I can't beleive we pander to Iran and their 7th century approach to life" a passionate and alarmed Team Captain Mac commented after the game. "I care about the gays for sure but what about the Jews...President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has gone on record denying the Holocaust and calling for the extermination of all Jews" piped in Goalie Jeff. "We care about ex-coach Greenspan's safety" he continued. "Uhh he's not Jewish dude but he is a lawyer" one unidentified Pig corrected. "We play for Human Rights from here on out...we play for the women, the children, metrosexuals, and all the oppressed...especially oppressed Hot Asian women" elder Mangler concluded.
Good win and good post game discussion boys!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Labor Day (Sept 1, 2006)
Labor Day came early this year as the Pigs were only able to start the game fielding 6 skaters against the Edge last night in Oakland. In the locker room moments before the game Mac uttered “WWGD?” (what would Greenie do?). Herrick reflecting fondly on short handed games past quickly responded with “why a 1-4” formation. “Where the f*&% is Tall Mother F%&%ing Gary, Peter, & Pittsberg?” snorted the Kid. Mangler reports in that Peter called an hour ago with his regrets, no word from the rest. “Well Dino will be here shortly so we should have 7, Mangler…Lemon….you fellas will be manning the blue line ‘iron man’ style until reinforcements arrive…fuck Greenie” General Mac called out. This left the Kid, Longshore, Herrick and Mac to produce up front. Mac figured with Jeff manning the Pipes all would be well. And all was well. Pigs came out strong exiting the 1st period up 2-0 thanks to gritty goals from Mac and Longshore. With the arrival of Dino, the Kid slots back to Defense to help out the Jack, Lemon, and Pipes. After 2 periods Pigs lead it 4-2 thanks to a solid passing and opportunity game. In the third a sweet pass from Lemon to Longshore made it 5-2 and the Mangler “knuckled” one to close things out for a 6-3 final. Yes Labor day came early this year. To all the Pigs who didn’t show up last night have a great Labor Day weekend. To the brave 8 who did this Buds for you! See you all on 9/12.
Labor Day came early this year as the Pigs were only able to start the game fielding 6 skaters against the Edge last night in Oakland. In the locker room moments before the game Mac uttered “WWGD?” (what would Greenie do?). Herrick reflecting fondly on short handed games past quickly responded with “why a 1-4” formation. “Where the f*&% is Tall Mother F%&%ing Gary, Peter, & Pittsberg?” snorted the Kid. Mangler reports in that Peter called an hour ago with his regrets, no word from the rest. “Well Dino will be here shortly so we should have 7, Mangler…Lemon….you fellas will be manning the blue line ‘iron man’ style until reinforcements arrive…fuck Greenie” General Mac called out. This left the Kid, Longshore, Herrick and Mac to produce up front. Mac figured with Jeff manning the Pipes all would be well. And all was well. Pigs came out strong exiting the 1st period up 2-0 thanks to gritty goals from Mac and Longshore. With the arrival of Dino, the Kid slots back to Defense to help out the Jack, Lemon, and Pipes. After 2 periods Pigs lead it 4-2 thanks to a solid passing and opportunity game. In the third a sweet pass from Lemon to Longshore made it 5-2 and the Mangler “knuckled” one to close things out for a 6-3 final. Yes Labor day came early this year. To all the Pigs who didn’t show up last night have a great Labor Day weekend. To the brave 8 who did this Buds for you! See you all on 9/12.
Monday, August 21, 2006
8/21: Oakland Open Door Policy
Pigs looked strong with an overwhelming 7-2 win last night over long time foe Black Ice. “My first shift was a blur” extolled 1st line centermen Longshore after he scored two goals in the opening 33 seconds of play. “I haven’t scored that many times in under a minute since my Junior year in High School over in Waupaca” he boasted and then blushed. Right wing Tmac matched Longshore goal for goal over the course of the game each netting 3. “It’s nice to see the older guys starting to contribute” stammered 21 year old Tmac with a beer in his mit. In other news Pig rookie Roller Pants (Red Carpet) Mike left the locker room door unlocked with hundreds of Pig dollars, watches, keys, electronics, etc available for the taking. “I closed the door.” He is still on probation.
Pigs looked strong with an overwhelming 7-2 win last night over long time foe Black Ice. “My first shift was a blur” extolled 1st line centermen Longshore after he scored two goals in the opening 33 seconds of play. “I haven’t scored that many times in under a minute since my Junior year in High School over in Waupaca” he boasted and then blushed. Right wing Tmac matched Longshore goal for goal over the course of the game each netting 3. “It’s nice to see the older guys starting to contribute” stammered 21 year old Tmac with a beer in his mit. In other news Pig rookie Roller Pants (Red Carpet) Mike left the locker room door unlocked with hundreds of Pig dollars, watches, keys, electronics, etc available for the taking. “I closed the door.” He is still on probation.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
8/13/2006: Mangler No, Tall Gary Yes
Sunday's no show list included GM, and lead metrosexual, Mangler however Tall Gary was there. Not that this made any difference as the youth movement within the Pig ranks is keeping the team in 1st Place through week 13 at 9-4. New recruit SLR (Slap Shot Rob) has revamped an aging blue line squad and added about 40-50 mph on the aggregate shot from the point. As we moorn the loss of Minnesota Scott the addition of SLR has made the transition much easier. Things got a little scary in the 1st period when goaltender Jeff complained of blood loss. Nothing a tenus shot, 7 stitches and a few hours in an ER waiting room couldn't fix. Pigs won 8-2 in front of a sellout Family Night crowd. See you all next week.
Sunday's no show list included GM, and lead metrosexual, Mangler however Tall Gary was there. Not that this made any difference as the youth movement within the Pig ranks is keeping the team in 1st Place through week 13 at 9-4. New recruit SLR (Slap Shot Rob) has revamped an aging blue line squad and added about 40-50 mph on the aggregate shot from the point. As we moorn the loss of Minnesota Scott the addition of SLR has made the transition much easier. Things got a little scary in the 1st period when goaltender Jeff complained of blood loss. Nothing a tenus shot, 7 stitches and a few hours in an ER waiting room couldn't fix. Pigs won 8-2 in front of a sellout Family Night crowd. See you all next week.
Monday, July 24, 2006
7/23/06: One Hot Summer Night
If 111 degrees wasn't hot enough for the Pigs, Mangler's wife sure was as she single handily rallied the Pigs to a 4-3 OT win over the Mavericks. Making her first (and probably last) appearence in the statnds, Mrs. Mangler proved to be the catalyst for victory as she screamed "I love Minnesota" at the start of OT. Newlywed Minnesota Scott answered the call pocketing the puck about with about 2 minutes to play in the extra time. "I just met her...she seems very nice" SotaPop Scott said to reporters after the game when questioned about his relationship with Mrs. Mangler. Sota's wife took it in stride saying "it's really no big deal...Minnesota is a nice place to live."
In other news Locker Room Key Manger Tyler learned the hard way what a "dry whirly" is as Mac buried his head into an equipment bag full of freshly soiled hockey equipment. This was the only action Mac saw all night.
Family night was a huge success! Thanks to all Family and Friends of the growing Pig Nation. I'm signing Mrs. Mangler up for cocktails at the next Family friendly time slot. She will be making Cosmo’s for all card carrying Pig Nation members.
If 111 degrees wasn't hot enough for the Pigs, Mangler's wife sure was as she single handily rallied the Pigs to a 4-3 OT win over the Mavericks. Making her first (and probably last) appearence in the statnds, Mrs. Mangler proved to be the catalyst for victory as she screamed "I love Minnesota" at the start of OT. Newlywed Minnesota Scott answered the call pocketing the puck about with about 2 minutes to play in the extra time. "I just met her...she seems very nice" SotaPop Scott said to reporters after the game when questioned about his relationship with Mrs. Mangler. Sota's wife took it in stride saying "it's really no big deal...Minnesota is a nice place to live."
In other news Locker Room Key Manger Tyler learned the hard way what a "dry whirly" is as Mac buried his head into an equipment bag full of freshly soiled hockey equipment. This was the only action Mac saw all night.
Family night was a huge success! Thanks to all Family and Friends of the growing Pig Nation. I'm signing Mrs. Mangler up for cocktails at the next Family friendly time slot. She will be making Cosmo’s for all card carrying Pig Nation members.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
July 2, 2006: Dog Days of Summer
Pigs crated the Praire Dogs 6-4 behind 44 shots on net. Props to Dino for the "hat". Sota had a hand in a few goals and even Stone Legs OBUS burried a goal while visiting from the land of Chocolate, Knives and Watches.
7/2 HAW Update: no show but the Catsup was spicy.
The new and improved MVP hat with ex Pig great Greenie's likeness
July 9, 2006: Box Score
A total of 23 penalties (46 minutes) in this bout between the #1 vVault and the #2 Pigs. Pigs ended up losing this one 6-4. Father/Son moment of the game had Tori and his proud Papa Jack along side with Dino and son Tyler all speding time in the Penatly Box. Ahhh.
7/9 HAW Update: no show..no Catsup.
Gracie sports the MVP hat
July 16, 2006: USMC Rules!
Pigs edge out the Bulldogs 5-4 behind stellar center play from Longshore and Herrick. Ex USMC Fraser giving up about 125 lbs goes "toe to toe" with the Golaith Bulldog Defensman. Nice work.
7/16 HAW Update: no show but Spicy Catsup, Mustard, and Hot linx!!!!!
Tory Donning the Priced Helmut for MVP
Note: HAW = Hot Asian Wife
Pigs crated the Praire Dogs 6-4 behind 44 shots on net. Props to Dino for the "hat". Sota had a hand in a few goals and even Stone Legs OBUS burried a goal while visiting from the land of Chocolate, Knives and Watches.
7/2 HAW Update: no show but the Catsup was spicy.
The new and improved MVP hat with ex Pig great Greenie's likeness
July 9, 2006: Box Score
A total of 23 penalties (46 minutes) in this bout between the #1 vVault and the #2 Pigs. Pigs ended up losing this one 6-4. Father/Son moment of the game had Tori and his proud Papa Jack along side with Dino and son Tyler all speding time in the Penatly Box. Ahhh.
7/9 HAW Update: no show..no Catsup.
Gracie sports the MVP hat
July 16, 2006: USMC Rules!
Pigs edge out the Bulldogs 5-4 behind stellar center play from Longshore and Herrick. Ex USMC Fraser giving up about 125 lbs goes "toe to toe" with the Golaith Bulldog Defensman. Nice work.
7/16 HAW Update: no show but Spicy Catsup, Mustard, and Hot linx!!!!!
Tory Donning the Priced Helmut for MVP
Note: HAW = Hot Asian Wife
Friday, June 30, 2006
6/30/06 Da Bing and the number 3 (Dedicated to Mangler, his wife and his faithful staff)
Lets catch up on the last two games:
6/22 vs Grey Hounds
Pigs out duel the defending champs by a score of 2-1. It only took the greyhounds :24 seconds to score however over the course of the game the Hounds racked up a mind boggling 13 penalties and found themselves short handed much of the game. A few timely goals from the tori and jack jr (not to be confused with Jack Sr) and the Pigs came out on top 2-1. No Three's here.
6/27 vs United Jets
Pigs dominate out shooting the Jets 45 -13. Final tally was an 8-2 victory. GM Jack 'Mangler' Mangan's free agent acquisitions proving too powerful even for a squad of former United Airline pilots. Teri, Jack Jr, Pitty accounting for 6 of the 8 goals...even Jack Sr found the back of the net late in the 1st period. Pigs had displayed some sloppy bench work and need to work out a few personel issues. GM Jack Sr. will have a soprano's style sit down with select players to discuss. Should note while Mangler and Lemon were racking up all the "offense" on defense the tandem of Tall MF Gary/Kid quietly posted a fat zero goals against. Pigs improve overall to 4-2. Again no Three's here.
The Sit Down (at the Bing)
To all Jack's staff I'm sure they have had this experience. While he is Irish and not Italian I recommend never taking him up on an offer to go for a boat ride (remember what happened to "big pussy" in the 4th season of Soprano's). Jack please let us know how the "sit down" went and if you have resolved all the personnel issues. No three's here either.
Three's:
I heard on Emeril Live last night that Asians consider the number 3 lucky (source: Yan Can Cook). Mangler: need you to consult the Oracle...your sweet wife. Better yet bring her to the game on Sunday!
Lets catch up on the last two games:
6/22 vs Grey Hounds
Pigs out duel the defending champs by a score of 2-1. It only took the greyhounds :24 seconds to score however over the course of the game the Hounds racked up a mind boggling 13 penalties and found themselves short handed much of the game. A few timely goals from the tori and jack jr (not to be confused with Jack Sr) and the Pigs came out on top 2-1. No Three's here.
6/27 vs United Jets
Pigs dominate out shooting the Jets 45 -13. Final tally was an 8-2 victory. GM Jack 'Mangler' Mangan's free agent acquisitions proving too powerful even for a squad of former United Airline pilots. Teri, Jack Jr, Pitty accounting for 6 of the 8 goals...even Jack Sr found the back of the net late in the 1st period. Pigs had displayed some sloppy bench work and need to work out a few personel issues. GM Jack Sr. will have a soprano's style sit down with select players to discuss. Should note while Mangler and Lemon were racking up all the "offense" on defense the tandem of Tall MF Gary/Kid quietly posted a fat zero goals against. Pigs improve overall to 4-2. Again no Three's here.
The Sit Down (at the Bing)
To all Jack's staff I'm sure they have had this experience. While he is Irish and not Italian I recommend never taking him up on an offer to go for a boat ride (remember what happened to "big pussy" in the 4th season of Soprano's). Jack please let us know how the "sit down" went and if you have resolved all the personnel issues. No three's here either.
Three's:
I heard on Emeril Live last night that Asians consider the number 3 lucky (source: Yan Can Cook). Mangler: need you to consult the Oracle...your sweet wife. Better yet bring her to the game on Sunday!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
6/15/06
There a few things out of place last Thursday night when the Pigs fell to vVault 4-2:
1) New Referee (black guy...not getting all racial here...just identifying). Dino...any comments on his officiating?
2) Captain Mac not at the game. Instead he was home icing his balls due to a recent Vasectomy.
3) Fast Eddy's been replaced with a more environmentally friendly and courteous gentleman named "Inspiration" Mike. We gotta get this guy working our bench.
4) Jimmy's seems to be loosing Thursday night business to the nightclub down the street. If Oakland PD didn't roll the Pigs and the team drinking beers next to us would have been outnumbered by natives 3-1. Normally this would not be an issue however Fraser was not in the house.
There a few things out of place last Thursday night when the Pigs fell to vVault 4-2:
1) New Referee (black guy...not getting all racial here...just identifying). Dino...any comments on his officiating?
2) Captain Mac not at the game. Instead he was home icing his balls due to a recent Vasectomy.
3) Fast Eddy's been replaced with a more environmentally friendly and courteous gentleman named "Inspiration" Mike. We gotta get this guy working our bench.
4) Jimmy's seems to be loosing Thursday night business to the nightclub down the street. If Oakland PD didn't roll the Pigs and the team drinking beers next to us would have been outnumbered by natives 3-1. Normally this would not be an issue however Fraser was not in the house.
Friday, June 09, 2006
6.6.06 Best Week Ever
We knew the week of 6.6.06 was going to be interesting however we had no idea it would turn out to be the BEST WEEK EVER. Before the game we were all pumped cause our Canadian brothers nabbed those 17 terrorists on 6.05.06. You see we have a significant number of Canadians on our roster so management has to pretend to get excited when the royal mounted police bag a few bad guys. To the US it's simple...racially profile and call it day...Canadians see things differntly and wait for the fuckers to almost blow something up before stepping in. Whatever...good score...yeah Canada. So 6.6.06 the Pigs are matched up against the Edge...good, tough, physical team we've been playing against for almost 8 years now. Not to understate the achievements of the Canadian government but Pig GM and Grillmeister Manager made a score of his own by signing a strong 21 year old LW named Tori (he's Canadian) to a one game contract. Five mintues into the first period Tori finds the back of the net in front of a capacity crowd of 1 (Tori's 38 year old dad). The rest of the game belonged to Mangler's award winning Craig's List acquisitions from 2005, Sodapop and Pit. Did I mention that Jeff stopped all 22 shots he faced? Well he did but there will be an asterisk by the game cause he did sacrifice a chicken and was overheard chanting satanic verses prior to the game. Pigs win 4-0 despite missing the presence of long time Pig and Minunte Man, Fraser. Where was he? Shit...only bagging one of the most wanted shits heads of our time...that's right...Fraser was remote and on the ground guiding the boms to Zarqaui's hide-out. Like I said Best Week Ever!
Notes:
>Fast Eddy "snubbed" for the 1st time in the Post Greenspan era
>The "Summer of Gracie" continues as he racked up another 2 pts leading all Defensmen through game 3 with 5 points.
We knew the week of 6.6.06 was going to be interesting however we had no idea it would turn out to be the BEST WEEK EVER. Before the game we were all pumped cause our Canadian brothers nabbed those 17 terrorists on 6.05.06. You see we have a significant number of Canadians on our roster so management has to pretend to get excited when the royal mounted police bag a few bad guys. To the US it's simple...racially profile and call it day...Canadians see things differntly and wait for the fuckers to almost blow something up before stepping in. Whatever...good score...yeah Canada. So 6.6.06 the Pigs are matched up against the Edge...good, tough, physical team we've been playing against for almost 8 years now. Not to understate the achievements of the Canadian government but Pig GM and Grillmeister Manager made a score of his own by signing a strong 21 year old LW named Tori (he's Canadian) to a one game contract. Five mintues into the first period Tori finds the back of the net in front of a capacity crowd of 1 (Tori's 38 year old dad). The rest of the game belonged to Mangler's award winning Craig's List acquisitions from 2005, Sodapop and Pit. Did I mention that Jeff stopped all 22 shots he faced? Well he did but there will be an asterisk by the game cause he did sacrifice a chicken and was overheard chanting satanic verses prior to the game. Pigs win 4-0 despite missing the presence of long time Pig and Minunte Man, Fraser. Where was he? Shit...only bagging one of the most wanted shits heads of our time...that's right...Fraser was remote and on the ground guiding the boms to Zarqaui's hide-out. Like I said Best Week Ever!
Notes:
>Fast Eddy "snubbed" for the 1st time in the Post Greenspan era
>The "Summer of Gracie" continues as he racked up another 2 pts leading all Defensmen through game 3 with 5 points.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
5/28/2006: Black Ice, Blood, Firemen, and the guy in the Red Sweater.
Family night started like any other with the stands packed with the Pig faithful cheering on the team against the Black Ice. Pigs drew first blood with Herrick's masterful goal at 13:41. About 3 minutes later the whistle blows as Tall Gary appears slumped over in the far corner...well a pictures worth a thousand words (love the smile).
By the time Oakland fire arrived on the bloody scene the Pigs fireman squad of Lemon, Herrick, and Doyle had assessed the scene, controlled the crowd, and most importantly stablized the patient. For me this was just enough informantion to answer the age old question: "how many fireman should you roster on your ice hockey team"...the answer is 3 (one to supervise, one to prop the leg, and one to control the flow of blood). Good work boys.
While they were scraping TG off the ice, the Kid notices a new member of the Black Ice. The new guy appears to be regular referee in our league sporting a red jersey. Kids all "what the $#@$". The ref says: don't worry he's not that good". Second period Pigs take a 2-0 lead off a Soda-Pop gimme goal. In third period action Pigs dominate yet give up 3 goals with the final goal coming fromt the guy in the red sweater with 4 minutes to play. Pigs lose 3-2.
Good time had by all at Family night. The ride home was nothing but "why was Tall Gary's blood on the ice?", "how come he didn't cry?", etc. Thanks TG! Good times...
Congrats to Minnesota Scott who got married last Wednesday.
Family night started like any other with the stands packed with the Pig faithful cheering on the team against the Black Ice. Pigs drew first blood with Herrick's masterful goal at 13:41. About 3 minutes later the whistle blows as Tall Gary appears slumped over in the far corner...well a pictures worth a thousand words (love the smile).
By the time Oakland fire arrived on the bloody scene the Pigs fireman squad of Lemon, Herrick, and Doyle had assessed the scene, controlled the crowd, and most importantly stablized the patient. For me this was just enough informantion to answer the age old question: "how many fireman should you roster on your ice hockey team"...the answer is 3 (one to supervise, one to prop the leg, and one to control the flow of blood). Good work boys.
While they were scraping TG off the ice, the Kid notices a new member of the Black Ice. The new guy appears to be regular referee in our league sporting a red jersey. Kids all "what the $#@$". The ref says: don't worry he's not that good". Second period Pigs take a 2-0 lead off a Soda-Pop gimme goal. In third period action Pigs dominate yet give up 3 goals with the final goal coming fromt the guy in the red sweater with 4 minutes to play. Pigs lose 3-2.
Good time had by all at Family night. The ride home was nothing but "why was Tall Gary's blood on the ice?", "how come he didn't cry?", etc. Thanks TG! Good times...
Congrats to Minnesota Scott who got married last Wednesday.
Friday, May 26, 2006
May 23, 2006 (Oakland, CA)
Pigs opened up the 2006 season with a 6-2 win over the Black Dogs. Known as the best position player on the pigs since Koz, Kid got things rolling with a timely position driven turnover and breakout pass to Pittsberg who did all the hard work scoring the 1st goal of the summer session. The rest of the game was academic with guys like Gracie, SodaPop, Dino, Longshore, Mike and Mac posting the balance. More impressive than Goalie Jeff's 1st assist in 6 seasons was Longshore's roof job one timer. "That's exactly how I got my wife pregnant" exlaimed a pumped Longshore after the goal marking his first point in almost 9 months.
Family Night Travel Advisory for Sunday May, 28: A death gesture was given to Captain McClure on 5/23 by a local Oakland native in the Ice Center parking lot al la Harry Conick Jr's character in the 1995 classic "Copycat." Mac crapped his pants but cleaned up nicely after the game.
Pigs opened up the 2006 season with a 6-2 win over the Black Dogs. Known as the best position player on the pigs since Koz, Kid got things rolling with a timely position driven turnover and breakout pass to Pittsberg who did all the hard work scoring the 1st goal of the summer session. The rest of the game was academic with guys like Gracie, SodaPop, Dino, Longshore, Mike and Mac posting the balance. More impressive than Goalie Jeff's 1st assist in 6 seasons was Longshore's roof job one timer. "That's exactly how I got my wife pregnant" exlaimed a pumped Longshore after the goal marking his first point in almost 9 months.
Family Night Travel Advisory for Sunday May, 28: A death gesture was given to Captain McClure on 5/23 by a local Oakland native in the Ice Center parking lot al la Harry Conick Jr's character in the 1995 classic "Copycat." Mac crapped his pants but cleaned up nicely after the game.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Pigs Start Season with a bye!!!!
With the warm weather upon us the Puck Pigs anxiously awaited the start of a new summer season. Unfortunately they would be forced to watch hockey instead of play it with the unfortunate double whammy schedule hang up. See email below for the low down.
Let's just say it runs in the family. Way to go Mama Dino!
________
From: Steve [mailto:steve@3rdbase.com]
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 10:18 PM
To: Emery Lykins
Subject: RE: Schedule
Puck Pigs had the bye in wk 1 and a sunday game in wk 2, which was bumped (5/14 is an off day for Mothers Day) . Bad luck there
-Steve Paltiel
From: Emery Lykins [mailto:emeryl@oaklandice.com]
Sent: Sun 5/7/2006 2:04 PM
To: Steve
Cc: 'Kent McClure'
Subject: Schedule
Steve,
I’m just wondering why the Puck Pigs in Silver A do not have a game until the 23rd? Most teams have 2 or 3 games in by that time…..
emery
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