Thursday, November 30, 2006

11/29/2006: Pig Victory Exposes Dark Underbelly of Pig Society

It was either the cold or a chronic case of the “Papi’s” that is causing a serious case of amnesia regarding the details of last nights hockey game. What I do recall is Papi. Papi yelling (at me). Papi screaming (at me). That’s about it. I mean I’ve got the stat sheet right in front of me detailing the Pig’s 5-1 dominance over the Black Dogs yet I can’t recall a single play…well one play comes to mind but you guessed it…it featured Papi screaming at me. Regardless how bad the play was you would expect a former Junior Hockey chumpion to help out and yell after the whistle…whatever. The good news is Papi and I are now closer than ever before and I welcome the opportunity to patrol the blue line with him again. The Papi stuff aside I think the cold exposed a side of the Pigs that we all should be ashamed of. Maybe it was the case of beer and bounty of bbq products (thanks to Dino’s sweet lawn mowing wife)…maybe it was Kramer…whatever it was the Mangler was dropping racially motivated bombs…black (jersey) this and black (grill) that. I stopped counting after the 3rd Nathan’s dog. Not sure why he had to bring race into every discussion. What would the HAW say if she found out? The more I think about things it must have been the horror of finding out that one of the Pig's nephews was hospitalized. Yeah he went in with the complaint of a “sore dick.” Doc told him to ease up (or lube up) a little if you know what I mean. Ahh to be 15 again. Things are getting better however and should he be reading this blog do not let him Click Here as it is explicit and will take you to the “come to mama” area of a well know pop artist. I warned ya.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Well it is the 22nd of November and the Kid is a bit on the busy side with all the VAGINA in his house. The Lem aka Anal Bleacher will handle this one. Remember now I am not as talented as the Kid with the written word so be ready. The Pigs meet the new and improved "PBR" (Prostate Blowin Rimmer) in a rematch. The Pigs jump out early and often reaching there mark of 8 goals. Can you say Deja Vu! The PBR did however happen to find the back of the net a few times, Ok 3 times as much as they did before but hey who's counting. Lem was without his normal D partner Mangler as he was busy entertaing some bean counters from corporate. Rumor is they went for a rub and a tug in the city.....Can you say Penicillin. Well back to the action. T Mac and his line made there normal showing trying to make a pitch to get themselves new contracts as set forth by GM Mangler but the other lines anchored by Rob, Mac, Dino, Papi, and T Mother F!(*$% Gary showed that the Pigs are all about heart not Benjamins. Jeff put up huge numbers in net keeping it a landslide victory for the Balck, Red and White. Jeff was heard during the 2nd intermission as saying "if you guys don't mind would you keep em off of me after the 6th rebound. Kid and Lem did their best to comply but with a little brain fart let one guy by with not so much as a blink. Well lets keep it going on the 28th my boys and I think I will be able to pull Mangler off the H.A.W but word is she is working on a new novel titled "Secrets of the Keggles" and is still in the research mode and you all know what that means........No legs for Mangler.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

11/9/06: It's the Meat (or is it?).

Allyson Rebecca joins the Pig nation.


More Swine




Vitts or Mangler?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

11/8/2006: Pickled Pigs, Carl Brewer

Pigs didn’t bring their “A” Tuesday night as the Prairie Dogs feasted on bacon sandwiches all night to the taste of a 6-3 win. 40+ year old sub Diamond Dave Roth and his bloodied “beak” wasn’t enough to keep the Pigs out of trouble. “I could smell the booze on him in the locker room before we suited up…he was hammered” said 1st line Defenseman Lemon. Double D’s vision was good enough to one time a perfect Mac (originally thought to be Papi however Papi was too busy checking Kids stick for wear and tear) pass to give the Pigs their first goal. Pitt’s schizophrenia surfaced briefly late in the first period as he was observed yelling at himself…the outburst will likely cost him the Lady Byng this year. If you look close at the picture you might be able to see Pitt’s alter ego…the feared no fat, chicken turkey hot dog smoking Puck Pig. Suuuwei!!!



The most important part of the night however was after the game when Papi took the Kid aside in a moment that would have made Ex-Pig Captain/coach Greenspan smile. You see the Kid missed a few passes, got burned a couple times, and even goalie Jeff politely said “let’s not let that happen again.” Papi sat the Kid down saying “You know who Carl Brewer is?” Well here is Carl’s story:

Carl Brewer was an integral part of the Tronoto Leaf’s 1962, 1963, 1964 Stanely Cup Championship teams. He was always different, known for cutting the palms of his gloves out so he could hold his stick shaft with his bare hands. In 1963 he hired agent Alan Eagleson who would prove to be Brewer’s nemesis. The Eagle soon became the top agent in the game and became the head of the NHL players association. Carl stopped playing in 1980. Soon after retirement he came to realize the Eagleson betrayed not only his trust but also the trust of every player in the NHL with regard player pensions. Brewer’s quest for Justice against Eagleson came to a head in 1991 when Brewer filed a lawsuit against the NHL to recover missing pension money and in 1994 the courts sided with Carl. In 1998 Eagleson was fined and sent to prison. “I just want to thank God for the United States of America because none of this would have occurred in Canada” he said after the verdict. This was Carl’s finest moment. None of this has anything to do with Papi’s sit down. You see Papi asked the Kid to bring his stick over. Looking at the wear pattern he said “you see the stick is worn here at the heal…you need a lower lie (angle between the blade and the shaft)…like Carl Brewer.” You see our hero Carl was known for skating low to the ice and carrying the puck out in front. Lies normally range from 4 to 8 yet Carl needed a 3. “Kid you need a 3.”

There you have it. Next game: Thursday, November 16, @ 10:15 against PBR.