Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Vvault too much for the Pigs in Game 1 of the finals:

Pigs did everything wrong to lose game 1 of the Summery 2007 finals against the #1 seed vVault squad Sunday night to the tune of 3-0. Don Cherry should be available Thursday night for game 2. Let's get er done.

In other news Greenspan has surfaced. He has taken on the case of the girl seated in the chair. Seems the hooded muslim TSA agent (that to me is unbelievable) probed her illegally just moments after she finished up searching the nun. Let's all give Greenie our support.

Friday, September 21, 2007

TMFG struggles with moral dilemma! Oh ya and Pigs Win 3-1.


Swine took to the ice last night defeating the Bastardized version of The Black Ice 3-1. The Puck Pigs capitalized on the new skates of the kid (not to be confused with “The Kid”) as TMac scored 2 goals including a short hander. Pigs found themselves down 1-0 on a fag play by Dino’s kids coach. The lanky, but friendly and all round nice guy who is cool to Tyler and hangs out at Dublin, Blackhounds player whiffed on his shot cutting across the net and watched in amazement as the puck dribbled through |Pipes| legs.

Panic did not set in as the Pigs realized that they could still play good hockey without the lead. Bearing down the team deployed their latest stealth strategy of offensive attack whilst shorthanded, as TMac intercepted an errant pass and undressed the Hound Goalie for a game tying shorty.

After the usual heckling and name calling, reminding the opposite team how much it sucks to let in short handed goals, the Pigs returned to form and proceeded to grind down the opposing team with constant soft dumps and aggressive fore checking.

It’s the kind of hard nosed play that brings out the best in our core group of tunnel rat players. Long time Swine scrapper Denny, returning from back surgery, fired puck to net and watched as the biscuit squirted between the goalies leg pad and post for a 2-1 lead.

With time winding down TMac slammed home one more insurance goal and the Pigs held on to defeat the Black Hounds and move on to their second consecutive OIC Silver A Championship.

No longer considered the underdogs, the Puck Pigs will need to bring their best game against the shifty vVault. Late game hooking penalties, Anal bleachers, and long shifts may very well result in the Pigs eating crow. Stay tuned to the Hog Blog for more in depth coverage of this summer’s playoffs.



Bacon Bits: I ask you this question? Flick it in or run away? That was the moral dilemma facing our very own Tall Mother Fucking Gary last night. Agreeing to frequent one of Pistol Pete’s local bars for a brew and some fried grub, a handful of Pigs gathered to recap the game, the team and the revitalized Canadian dollar.

Having tipped a couple, TMFG headed for the head to relieve him-self or perhaps check for calamari crumbs on his cashmere sweater. Finding the Men’s one holer occupied he opted for using the vacant women’s bathroom instead.

To use TG’s words, “I closed and bolted the door and flicked on the lights. To my horror, perched on the rim of the toilet seat was a walnut sized poop.”

Not my problem say he and so doing what all of us would do TG attempted the “splash and dash” pissing as fast as he could while leaving the seat down for the next lady do deal with.

Unfortunately as fate would have it, Gary’s biggest fear would come true. A rattle of the handle followed by a knock at the door and TG knew he was trapped. Whoever was on the other side of that wall would ultimately assume that our very own TMFG was the owner of the unavoidable small-brown-ball.

Clean it up or leave it alone. None of us can really say what we would do if we were in the same predicament so it is not up for us to judge. Needless to say the innocent HAW that was next in line for relief that night will forever remember the day that a 6’4”, moderately handsome man sporting a Nordstrom wardrobe, decided to leave a shat ball Easter egg on the seat of the women’s toilet.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Get it on net with Zip!


Be it wrist shot or slapper. Let the stick do the work.


Friday, September 14, 2007

Pigs Route Blue in the 1st round...


In a very spirited battle the Pigs went on to take the first step in honoring their proud championship legacy. Greenspan's words could be heard from the 405 in Santa Monica "2-1-2". "Nobody leaves the Flash alone." This line of thinking helped and inspired long time Pigs Herrick and the Kid. Being as Papi never met Greenie he took the Kids word on it and shut the Flip down in the circle. Papi could be heard telling Herrick "all you need to do is take the heel of your stick in the circle and come down on the top of his boot.....that really hurts let me tell ya." Herrick in his constant willingness to improve his game took the advice under advisement.



Nice Router

Aside from Captain Mac taking "Router" player of the game honors, the real story of the night though had to come from none other than T Mac. I think his skate box was seen outside of the rink in the parking lot. Those are some nifty skates. Not only did he net 2 hat tricks but he let Dino know he is ready to take their relationship to the next level. All Pigs were lucky enough to hear T Macs throws of love at Dino "I really like your stick." Awwww! Dino was not fast to reciprocate but he was concerned enough to ask T how his neck was after getting tomahawked in the 3rd.



The D played strong for the first 2 periods.....Ok maybe the last 1:15 of the 2nd is where the wheels came off. Lemon got the ball rolling for the Blues with his nifty one timer to the Flash who buried it far side on Pipes. Lemon picked his dick up off the ice and decided to give the Blues a real chance when he whiffed on a backhand pass that would have left him all alone with the Blues goalie....oh yeah that was the goal that tied it up. Not to be outdone Tall MF Gary decided enough was enough and thought that there was a rule change and figured 6 otta do it....nice try. The one true highlight on D was Mangler lining up the Flash and reminding him this is how the Pigs roll. Pistol Pete played strong on the blueline and let Lem know it's OK to pull an Anal Bleacher from time to time but not in the playoffs.


The Pigs with the help of our Northerly Brethren took the team to the next level. After a 3-3 score the boys went to work and netted 4 goals in about 4 minutes. Papi could be seen lining up the dumkoff after getting the go ahead lamp lighter. That was a fine fist pump I must say. Don't forget though that he scored it with a 2 man advantage to the Blue. Well my friends it is off to the next hurdle and that will be to get Lemon some real lumber....Sherwood baby. Lem was seen at Station 9 in Pacheco throwing bombs or should I say bebe's with his old Aluminum trying to get ready for the Black Dogs. See you all Thursday and be safe out there. Remember wider is better. I'ahua Naula.

-Lem

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Go Pigs!

Click on |Pipes| pads for some playoff inspiration!