10/24/2006: 2006-7 Season Opener “More Cowbell”

Pigs opened the 2006-7 Winter season against Pabst Blue Ribbon. Naw this team was not coached or managed by Frank Booth (the manic Dennis Hopper from “Blue Velvet”) nor did the squad go Turrets on us with cute quotes from the movie “"Heineken? Fuck that shit! … PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!" They did have PBR jerseys however I don’t think they were a sponsored club. Anyway…PBR stunned the Oakland hockey world by scoring :37 into the 1st period. This was about all they did. ...

(Kids mind starts to wander...Must have been because the ice was not that cold. Everyone knows that PBR must be cold, icy cold in fact. As it worms, PBR molecules tend to bond with ambient urine molecules in the atmosphere, making it taste like Brooklyn Pilsner. There is a certain retro coolness to be found in standing behind the Red, White, and Blue of PBR. Really though…who if anyone still drinks PBR these days?” Who even knows where to find it? Maybe in one of the beer stores that Vitts talks about up in Canada? Imagine how cool you’ll be, and how much money you could save for that dream grill you've longed for, as you suck down a few cans after the game. Other teams will gawk with envy as they sip on their warm, flat, Coors Lights. Wait the Pigs like Coors Light and we have a kick ass grill. Kid snaps out of it).

...The next 44+ minutes were all about the Turtle and his trusty cowbell. It was really like the poor fella had a fever and the only prescription was more cowbell.

click here for more cowbell

Nobody knows this better than Papi who racked up 11 PIMs (all in the offensive zone I might add…no wait that is not true...he broke #21 PBRs stick at center ice...also the score sheet shows an additional game misconduct recorded after the game ended????). Cowbell aside the Pigs went on to dominate, scoring 8 unanswerd goals to win the opener 8-1. Usual suspects of TMac & Mac doing most of the damage (Vitts decided to damage his goin). Even hero firefighter Lemon was able to make the 3rd period after hanging with his Contra Costa fire team on the NHL side. Thanks Lem!

Quote of the night: "Lets just say it ain't gonna get any better" - Papi to Vitts when asked if nagging from girls abates post marrage.