3/24/06: Pigs Close Down the 2005-06 Regular Season with a 4-3 win over the Edge

The Pigs of Oakland took one step closer to the cup late Thursday night with a huge short bench win over the hated Edge. Down 0-2 early the Pigs rallied behind 3 Mac goals to eventually put this one away 4-3 (Herrick's goal was pretty nice and I do have to give a shout out to Minnesota Scott's world class screen on Mac's #3). For the season the Pigs end up 10-8-2 and likely locking up the #6 seed entering the playoffs.

Fast Eddy Update: He did not get any pussy last week however still has a hard on from the Viagra Mangler provided.

2005-2006 Awards

Each year, writers and the Pig Players Association recognizes the players. Here are the 2005-2006 results:

Jack Adams: This award is for the best coach. Winner: David Greenspan for his "brokback" style and contribution during the 2005 part of the season. This is David's first Adams award after coaching the team for 7 years.

Georges Vezina: This award is for the best goalie. Winner: Jeff. With only an 88% save percentage Jeff wins cause he's our only goaltender...and for taking time off to drink beers in Bavaria at the tail end of the season.

Heart: This award is for the team MVP. Winner: Mac not only for leading the team in goals (12), assists (15), and pts (27) but for a constant supply of internet porn. Thanks Mac. You are a man of the people!

Bill Masterton Memorial: This award is given to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey. Winner: Dino. The guy never gives up (except last night after Mac's third goal Dino gave up hope for regaining the pig season scoring title).

Lester B. Pearson: This award is for the most outstanding player. Winner: The early nod was for Pittsburg Justin however with only 8 games played his 1.5 PPG isn't representative. As such, this years Pearson goes to Mike, the Czech boys, Marsella, Mo, Obus, and all the other subs we had throughout the year.

Calder: Most proficient in 1st year on the Pigs. Winner: Minnesota Scott. Sota had a breakout year bringing tons of goals(9), PIMs(16), assists(6), fans(25), beers(36), and cheers(16dB).

Da Byng: Gentleman. Winner: Lemon who finished with zero PIMs and spat up blood. Nice work.

Maurice Richard. Top Goal scorer. Winner: Mac (12)

Selke: Forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. Winner: Herrick. Thanks for skating back. "it's never to late to get back on D".

King Clancy: Player who best exempifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made noteworthy humanitarian contributions. Winner: Mangler for taking care of the grill, the team, and giving fast eddy viagra and beer. Interestingly enough Mangler finished atop the heap in PIMs (34).

Norris: Defensive player who demonstrates the greatest all-around ability. Winner: Gracie is the clear winner despite his line mate(Kid) getting the glory leading all defensemen with 6 goals and a +25, game film revealed it was Gracie's greatness that set it all up.

Ross: Pts leader. Winner: Fucking Mac (27)

Conn Smythe: MVP of the playoffs...Winner: Who's gonna step up????